We Were Free

Chapter 42

Jake finished another bottle of wine before she left that night, and Jake was slurring his words when she left and was trying to touch me to get me turned om. It was just hard to be turned on when he was a complete mess.

"Jake." I sighed and he stumbled as we walked up the stairs to the bedroom

"You're cute." He said.

"Relax." I said as he put his hand in between my legs and I pulled it away.

"We haven't had sex since before I left. I miss you. I need you." He said.

"Tonight it isn't happening. You're drunk. I told you to stop, Jake. Why did you keep drinking?" I asked and he kissed my neck and wrapped his arms around me.

"I miss you. I need to be inside you." He said lowly against my neck as he kissed it and I tilted my head up some. It felt good, but I wasn't letting him do anything else.

"Stop." I said put my hand on his chest.

"Baby, I promise it was just tonight I was having fun." He said and I nodded.

"That's okay. I just don't want to have sex. You probably won't even remember it.

"I'll remember it. Look-I know I'm here. I'm at my house, with you, in my bedroom." He said and he sat on his bed and patted next to him.

"Just let me make love to you. I'll do all the work, baby. Don't worry." He said and I shook my head.

"Why don't you just lay down and go to bed. I'll go sleep in the guest room." I said.

"Blaire?" He asked.

"What?" I asked.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked and I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What?" I repeated and he looked away from me.

"Did you come here when I wasn't here and take all the coke I had?" He asked.

"I didn't take it. I got rid of it because I'm not risking you going back to it." I said.

"I tried finding some earlier. I wanted it so bad. I couldn't find any at all. I was so mad earlier but I didn't say anything because I know you did it to make me stay on track and I appreciate it. I just wanted you to know I was looking for it, because I need you to know I'm craving it more and more since I've gotten home. I want you to watch me and make sure I don't do it." He said and my eyes softened. The fact that if I hadn't gotten rid of all of it and if he did look for it and found it, he would have done it. It scared me. I was happy he told me about it, but it was only because he was drunk. He wouldn't have told me sober.

"You can't go back to that." I said and he grabbed my hands.

"I know. I'm going to be okay and I won't." He said and I sat down next to him.

"Can we have sex now?" He asked and I rolled my eyes.

"No." I mumbled and he sighed and fell back on the bed dramatically. He was such a child when he didn't get what he wanted.

"Jake." I sighed and he just stared at the ceiling.

"I'm spinning." He said.

"You're drunk." I said.

"Yep." He said and he pulled his shirt off over his head.

"Do you like Chloe?" He asked.

"I like her. I just feel like she has feelings towards you still." I said.

"She doesn't. Trust me, you would know if she did." He said and I rolled my eyes.

"I saw it with Morgan and I'm sure I see it with Chloe." I said.

"Yeah, but I fucked Morgan multiple times after we were done and wouldn't touch Chloe ever again. I'm happy with you, jackass." He said and hit me playfully with a pillow.

"Who are you calling, jackass?" I asked.

"You." He said and I looked down at him and laid down next to him. I kissed his cheek and nuzzled my head into his chest and he ran his fingers through my hair.

"I love you." He said and I nodded.

"I love you too."

* * *

I woke up the next morning and Jake wasn't in bed anymore. I sat up and grabbed my phone before walking downstairs and he was sitting on the couch with his hands buried in his face. I thought he was upset, but he was just hungover.

"You okay?" I asked and he pulled his hands away from his face and looked up at me.

"I'm fine. My head is just killing me." He said and I pouted my lip out before walking over to him. I sat next to him and he drug his hands down his face.

"When'd you wake up?" I asked.

"Like twenty minutes ago." He said and I nodded.

"You're being quiet." I said.

"Because I got drunk last night and didn't mean or want to." He said.

"I know-I tried stopping you but it didn't really work. If it makes you feel any better-the alcohol only really starting hitting you until after chloe left. So, you didn't make yourself look like an idiot in front of her. You were just trashed and goofy when she left." I said and he nodded slowly.

"I wish I wasn't so fucked up." He sighed and I shook my head.

"You're not. You're healthy and happy. You drank for the first time in two months. You deserved to have fun and get drunk sometimes." I said and he smiled weakly.

"Thanks."' he said and I kissed his cheek.

"You told me you wanted to get high yesterday." I said and he rested his head against my shoulder and nodded.

"I still want to." He sighed and I ran my fingers through his hair.

"If you and brad aren't talking, where would you get it from?" I asked.

"I have more people. I'm not really trying to think about that." He said and I shook my head.

"I don't want you to do it, I just want to know." I said and he nodded.

"Yeah I have other people." He said and I kissed his cheek.

"You aren't going back to that, Jake." I said.

"I know I'm not." He said and he looked up at me.

"Can we do something? I have a killer hangover, but I need to keep myself busy." He said and I nodded.

"Of course." I said and he kissed me before getting up.

"I'm getting a shower. Thank you for dealing with me last night and not getting mad at me for what I did. I love you." He said.

"I love you too, Jake. I wouldn't be mad at you for that."