He Doesn't Remember Me

Chapter Twenty

I held my breath in and waited for his reaction. I know he'll be spitting fire in no time but...I just hope we'll go back to our normal dynamic after that.

For a few minutes, everything around us went deadly-silent. I didn't open my eyes even for a second and just stayed there in his arms waiting for him to snap at me.

"Y-you were spying...on me?" He asked slowly like he's still registering my words in his mind.

I bobbed my head unhurriedly and start fidgeting with the button of his shirt.

"Open your eyes and look at me." He instructed in a low voice. I would have opened my eyes but his next words stopped me completely. "Ashley, I said look at me." His voice was rising with each word.

I flinched due to the anger in his voice.

Uh-oh.

He said Ashley and not vanilla. He only refers to me as Ashley when he's really furious. Now, I will make sure that I never open my eyes again. I will glue them or maybe, I'll start wearing blindfold like daredevil so I won't have to see his angry red face.

"Vanilla, please open your eyes." He said softly this time after a few painful moments of silence.

He cupped my face in his hands and tilt it upwards. My skin is on fire due to his thumb which is gently stroking my cheeks. I lean into his touch and reluctantly open my eyes when I had no choice left.

I was surprised to see him so relaxed.

"Why were you spying on me?" He asked in a calm voice.

"You know damn well why," I muttered with a pout.

"No, you have to explain it to me." He gives me a stern look when I made a sound of protest.

It feels childish when I think about it now and I don't want him to feel that I'm some insecure person so I stayed shut with my gaze focused on his shoes.

"Ashley-" I cut him off this time.

"I was scared, ok?" I snapped because he just wouldn't quit the interrogation part. I regretted snapping at him the second these words left my mouth. I was the one who didn't trust him, I have no right to behave like this. "I always get scared when it comes to you." I finished in a low voice and try to step out of his embrace.

He quickly winds his hands around my waist when he realises I'm trying to bolt out of this situation.

Way to shoot yourself in the foot Ashley.
Couldn't you just go to his house quietly but noooo...you had to tell him everything.

"Zack let me go," I was protesting with my mouth but my body was enjoying the feel of his hand and had no intention to be away from him.

"Scared of what?" He gestured me to continue with one of his hands.

He won't let me leave until I submit, so I should just give up this mutiny and tell him my every fear.

I take a long, deep breath before opening my heart to him.

"I was scared....that I'll lose you." I start inaudibly and ducked my head again to avoid his gaze. "I know it doesn't even make sense because we aren't even dating yet but.....I feel..." I swallowed hard before saying it. "...Insecure. Wherever I go, I have to tolerate the flirty smiles every girl gives you so yeah......I never say it out loud but I'm fucking terrified that someday you'll wake up...and decide you could do so much....better. I mean look at Jenny, she is beautiful and you know I don't stand a chance against her so you can't really blame me for being scared." I finished with an embarrassed chuckle.