A Force Of Gravity✅

16

-Rose-5 years ago-

"The worst part is there's no-one else to blame."
-Breathe me by Sia

Brooke and I sit on my bed, sprawled across it in weird positions that we find comfortable. We are both wearing too-fancy clothing for a lazy day but the boys are planning to come over for a study session for our big test on Friday.

Ben is technically grounded considering he got caught for the haunted house fiasco but his father is out so much that Ben can easily sneak out his house. I lightly paint Brooke's thumb with the red nail varnish with intense concentration.

"I can't believe you kissed him." Brooke exclaims, jolting a little in surprise but I grab her wrist to keep her hand still. I've just filled her in on everything that she missed after we had split up, including the kiss from Will.

"He kissed me!" I say in defence, as if I hadn't kissed him back. Brooke smirks, as if knowing something that I don't.

"Did he know it was your first kiss?" She whispers loudly, as if someone can overhear and I shake my head.

"I don't know." I say honestly. Will and I haven't spoken about it since. It feels more like a fever dream, or a fever nightmare, than something that actually happened. "It was weird and I hated it and I felt like washing my mouth out after."

At least I wish I felt like that. Honestly, although it was a surprise, I had wanted to kiss him too. The way he felt was intoxicating and it made me feel drunk. But I did hate that it happened. I hated that I wanted it to happen.

"Was he a good kisser?" Brooke asks mischievously and I roll my eyes, making her giggle. Brooke has kissed a few boys and has even given one of them a blow job. I find all the boys in our school far too immature and either too self centred because they're rich or too eager because I'm rich.

"Brooke, it is like asking if the devil is a good kisser. Even if he is, he is still pure evil." I claim but she shakes her head at my dramatic tone.

"I will never understand the rivalry between the two of you." Brooke sighs heavily. I concentrate on blowing on her red nail briefly before putting it under the gel light.

"He just finds many creative ways to get on my nerves and it is entertainment for me to do the same." I smirk, thinking about the many times I've teased him until he explodes, purely because I'm bored.

"How has your dad been these past few weeks?" Brooke changes the subject, making me stiffen uncomfortably. I try to avoid deep topics like this. The truth is, since my mother left, he hasn't wanted to stay home for longer than a few days. I never realised how much attention he used to give me before it disappeared.

"I have no idea. I will let you know when he comes back from wherever he is." I say casually. Brooke frowns but hopefully she doesn't see through my nonchalant facade. "I think he is engaged again which is always fun."

"He still won't tell you about where your mum is?" She asks softly, making me sigh again.

"Nope, not a thing. I've given up asking. The last time I asked, he told me that she doesn't want to see me and that I should give up asking." My father tries everything to forget about my mother.

"I'm sure that isn't true." Brooke says softly and looks up at me with sympathetic eyes. I hate when people look at me with so much pity.

"Change your hand." I order her and she must understand that I no longer want to talk about my parents so she gives me her other hand.