A Force Of Gravity✅

58

-Will-Present-

"All I want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door
'Cause if I could see your face once more
I could die a happy man I'm sure
But if you loved me
Why'd you leave me?"
-All I want by Kodaline

I don't remember the ambulance coming and taking her to the hospital. I just remember not wanting to let her go. Somehow, as if in a split second, I go from lying on the road to being in the hospital.

Someone is stitching up a cut on my head. They're calling me lucky. Saying I may have a slight concussion but nothing major. No one lets me see where they have taken Rose. When they finally finish stitching my head, they offer to give me spare clothes because mine are covered in blood. Rose's blood.

I run out of the room, rushing straight to the reception. I ask where she is but they refuse to tell me because I'm not family. I grow angry but before I explode, Brooke is behind me. Everything feels like I'm in a dream. I feel so numb and so empty that this is the closest to dead that I've ever felt.

"Rose!" I shout loudly, searching around in panic but Brooke gently grabs my arm. "Where is she? Let me go! Rose!"

"You need relax." Brooke's voice breaks and her eyes are puffy from crying. I notice the weird looks from people around us but I don't care.

"No, I need to see Rose."

"Will? What happened? Oh my god." Caspian asks as he comes over to us, eyes widening at the sight of me. I break down, leaning back into a wall. My chest tightens and it feels like I can't breathe.

"The truck hit her side, the truck hit her and I need to see her. I need.." My voice breaks and I bury my face in my hands. This is all my fault. I should never have let her in the car when I had been drinking. I should never have been driving at that speed.

The first time I killed someone, it was defending the person I love most in this world. The second time I've nearly killed someone, it is killing the same person that I protected. The same person I love. Call it karma, call it fate. But even though I hope she survives, I will never forgive myself.

"She's been taken into surgery but they won't tell us anything." Brooke sobs but I don't have it in me to comfort her right now. Ben and Cooper are nowhere to be found. "I called her parents and they are coming now. It's bad, Will."

I close my eyes, willing myself not to break down right now but I'm so scared of losing her. I don't know what I would do if she died. I don't know if I could go on without her. She is my entire life, my entire being. Without Rose, what's the point? I don't know what my life would be like without her in it and I don't want to know.

Brooke and Caspian lead me into another room. It is smaller but another waiting room with no one in it but us. Cooper stands in the corner, his eyes puffy and he looks broken. Ben stands up.

I watch closely as Ben snaps his head up when Brooke enters. The longing and relief in his eyes surprises me. Brooke glances up and holds his gaze. Then smiles a broken smile. I wonder if anyone else notices the way they look at each other. Like they are happier now than they have ever been because they know that the other is okay. Ben wraps his arms around Brooke, holding her tight against his chest as she sobs.

It hurts to look at them because I wish it was Rose and I. Caspian walks over to Cooper, pressing a comforting hand against his back. But then Cooper's head snaps up to look at me and his eyes darken in anger.

"You fucking did this! My sister is dying because of you!" Cooper leaps forward, a murderous look in his eyes and attempts to punch me in the face. I stay still, not bothering to defend myself. I deserve it. Caspian and Ben pull him back.

"I didn't....I didn't mean to..." I sound so far away to my own ears. Brooke looks at me sympathetically but Cooper shakes his head in anger.

"You never should have gotten into that fucking car whilst drunk." He screams and I close my eyes, hanging my head.

"Coop, you need to chill the fuck out, it's not his fault." Ben orders.

"Not his fault? She's fucking dying. You knew you were too drunk to drive. I thought you cared about her but you put her at risk like that..." Cooper screams and anger boils inside of me. I'm too tired and too scared to get into an argument right now.

"Don't you dare question whether I care about her or not!" I shout back in frustration and reach forward but Ben is already pulling me back.

"You're a fucking idiot." Cooper growls angrily but he is no longer trying to punch me. He falls to his knees and starts sobbing. Caspian immediately embraces him. Ben lets me go.

"I know. Trust me, no one hates me more than myself right now." My voice cracks and I slide down the wall. "I fucking love her and I put her here."

"We know you didn't mean to, Will." Brooke whispers softly and sits down beside me. I let her wrap her arms around me comfortingly. Brooke annoys me most of the time but she is like a sister to me, and right now I appreciate her more than I ever have before.

We stay like this for the next few hours. Brooke with her arms around me. Ben on the other side of her and I refuse to speak to him. Cooper and Caspian stay on the other side of the room, clinging to each other.

"What the fuck happened?" Rose's father storms into the waiting room, Lola and Marissa beside him. His face is red with worry and Lola and Marissa have evidently been crying. I stand up, waiting for the shouting.

"We got into a car crash. I wasn't concentrating and we were arguing and..." I look away, pain rising in my chest. "The truck came out of nowhere."

Edward blinks and then blinks again, as if processing and then immediately rushes over to find the doctor. Marissa comforts Cooper and Lola stands awkwardly in the centre of the room. I feel as if Edward takes forever until he returns, a pained look on his face.

"They told me that she has serious head trauma." He croaks out and I turn numb. "She has a broken arm, some bleeding on the brain and cuts all over her. She...they don't know if she will make it."

"My poor poor girl." Marissa croaks out, wiping away her tears.

"Oh my god." Lola breathes out, throwing her arms around a broken Edward. Everyone else freezes and I hear cries and sobs but it sounds muffled.

"Can I see her?" I ask, my heart breaking. Edward looks up at me and I expect anger and despair but he just looks at me sadly.

"She's still in surgery." He tells me and I nod hurriedly, over and over because I have no idea what else to do. I need air. I need space. I can't be here right now knowing that the girl I love could be dying somewhere in this hospital. I turn around and leave the room, ignoring the protests from behind me.