A Force Of Gravity✅

22

-Will-4 years ago-

"I've been beaten and broken and tread upon
I was made to feel stupid when I was young."
-Fall by James Arthur

I can't remember why he had done it. I just remember making him so angry that he hit me. Then he hit me again and again and again. After all these years, the pounding of his fist on my flesh has made me numb. I can barely feel it when he does it. I don't even cry anymore.

But then my father made me get down on my knees and apologise to him. As I've grown older, I've grown more defiant. I snapped back at him for once so he pulled the belt from around his waist, raised up his hand and smacked my back with the hard part of his belt. That does make me cry out.

"Remember this, you little pussy." He hisses coldly and leans down in my face. His eyes are wild. His teeth clamped together. Yet he remains wearing his suit like any other businessmen. "This is your fault for being such a worthless little shit. How dare you talk to me like that? After everything I've given you, you ungrateful little shit."

"By everything, do you mean... the bruises and scars...I have covering my body?" I spit out blood and glare at him coldly. I shouldn't have said it. I shouldn't have snapped back. But I don't want to be a coward anymore. His eyes darken and he lets out a strange growl before smacking me on the back again. I'm too weak to fight back.

My mother walks into my bedroom to see what the commotion is about and I move my head to look up at her. Please mum. Do something, anything. I beg her with my eyes to defy him, to stop him. But she just stands there. Her face is blank but her eyes show how hurt she is. Then she walks away. She fucking walks away. I don't know why I expected any different.

"Even your mother sees how worthless you are." Smack. "You should think long and hard about what you've done." Smack. "Don't you ever talk back to me!" Smack. Once he grows tired, he sways a little from the alcohol humming in his veins and then leaves.

I stay on the floor, huddled in on myself. I don't cry. I can't remember the last time I cried. This is too much of a regular occurrence that I've grown used to it. But he's never used his belt. I can't stay in here anymore. Even my room is no longer a safe place away from him.

Grabbing my flask of whiskey and cigarettes, I climb out of my window and jump on to the tree below. It is pouring with rain and it instantly sticks to my clothes. It is a risky manoeuvre but I'm too numb to care about consequences. I barely bang my body against the tree and pain soars through my arm and back. Closing my eyes, I take a moment to collect myself before carrying on walking.

I have no idea where I'm going. I debate going to Ben's but he's at a party. Brooke is at that same one. Cooper is either at the party or at his house. But although I could go to this party to find them, I find myself instinctively walking to Rose's house.

The lights are all dark inside considering it is so late. I know that Marissa would have gone to the guest house where she lives with her family already. I creep my way along the front yard and then look up at Rose's room. I've climbed my way up before when Ben and I wanted to sneak in.

I climb up the large oak tree in her front yard, lift myself up and jump on the roof. A mumble of curse words tumble out of my mouth at the searing pain in my back but I push through it. I carefully walk along the roof, nearly slip a few times from the slippery tiles, until I come across her room.

Her curtains are drawn so I can't see through them but the light is off. I knock on the window , not caring about waking her up. I don't want to feel alone and worthless anymore. I hear stirring from inside the room and then a pissed off Rose opens her window.