"𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐔𝐃𝐄, 𝐈 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐖,"
meet clementine adair - a 20 year old simmer who just can't stop competing with those damn dreamsmp members. when she finds out one is her downsta...
bad girls club - falling in reverse hokus pokus - icp yer kill in' me - remo drive traitor - olivia rodrigo rape me - nirvana drivers license - olivia rodrigo come as you are - nirvana idiot america - green day santeria - sublime harness your hopes - pavement - i inhale a breath of air, which excites my lungs. my eyes flutter awake, dancing and tempting the slight breeze from the open door. my eyes blur and hide from the morning light, which intrudes on my dreams. i reach over, stretching my unwilling muscles. looking at my phone, as i lightly rub the sleep out of my eyes. i see the time up top. 8:37 am. i'm up early. wait why am i up early? i rack my brain as i attempt to remember everything that happened. jesus christ.
i hustle my ass up, rushing to the door, forgetting i am butt ass naked except for wilburs t-shirt. rushing to the bathroom, i take in the scene from last night. my clothes, still wet, laying on the ground. i try to catch a breath that isn't in my lungs. i 180° out of there and snatch clothes out of my suitcase.
a random pair of jorts i didn't even think i was bringing? check. a tight tank top that says 'i quit got fired from hooters'? check. a pair of birkenstocks that have paint on the bottom? check and check. i hustle my ass out the door without saying anything to wilbur, and check my phone is in my pocket. i open it and see a text from schlatt.
'change to the hotel lobby, ubers are expensive around here'
i head into the stairwell and take a deep breath, pushing past my unwanted emotions, and walk down to the lobby. the never ending staircase stretched until there was nothing left, my legs continually burned as i walked.
one two three. breathe. one two three. breathe. my breath is rapid, my breathing exercises not helping. i take a seat on the infinite staircase and think of what happened.
you ruin everything you touch clementine. my mind stabs me. everything is your fault, you're the reason everyone hates you. not your personality, not you're actions, you. nobody would care if you got stuck here clementine. you are a shitty person. excuse it all you want. it is your fault.
stop pitying yourself and do some fucking push-ups.
another voice in my head joins. i'm not schizophrenic, am i?
you heard me. you need some self respect. learn to realize how good you are in your own way. everyone fucks up, and i fucked up by putting you on the floor.
the voice of my highschool basketball coach rings in my ear. i played for all four years. i was maybe on the court for a full hour between the four of then. he saw something in me that wasn't really there.
now get down there. maybe run a suicide while you get there. you could've been so good.
i wipe a tear from my face and walk downstairs as the staircase grows smaller and smaller. i finally make it to the entrance.
tables line the carpeted floor, standing like soldiers waiting for their command. i see him from across the room.
his beard was scruffy, his eyebrows and hair unkempt, his weak attempt at fashion beat how poor mine was, with a pair of flip-flops, a tshirt of some indie band, and jorts. atleast we were matching. i see recognition in his eyes as i sit down. we sit opposite eachother, silence standing heavy in the air, like your weird uncle claude at thanksgiving.
he fiddles with his thumbs. i place my hands on the table, and he leans towards me.
"clem, i'm so sorry. i didn't- i didn't think it would happen. i just saw you and him and i couldn't stop it," his mind seemed to be going a million miles a minute, but i just put my hand on his and squeeze. i need to stop pitying him. he's ruined my life, but you can't really talk clementine can you? you've ruined your own life.
fuck you. i want to say it. i can't.
"i know."
"you do?"
"i do."
he lets out a breath of air, and his hands falter a little. i squeeze them as hard as possible.
"i swear to fucking god, if you ever embarrass me like that's again i will post that dick pic you sent me drunk one time."
this was, of course, an empty threat, as a small smile creeps across my face. i stand up and hug him. he squeezes me just a bit too tight. like weird uncle claude did to me when i was nine.
i take a deep breath of air, and i smile into his eyes. this was a new chapter for us, i guess. as i get released from his embrace i catch someone standing on the railing by our room. our eyes meet, and i see the betrayed look on wilbur's face.
- wake up honey, maqqie published again
how's ur guys' lives been going. i'm currently in highschool juggling all a's (with one b in math but shh) basketball, travel softball, sleep, and my anxiety which is flaring up right now.
also there's a really hot junior that i'm snapping but he's a republican (i think) and heavily christian
and i'm a dumb-o-crap and an atheist/polytheist
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