Chapter 54: Thinking About Him

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Jake rolled over, catching his breath, pushing the hair out of his face. He turned to face me, flashing me a smile.

"I shoulda asked you to move in sooner." He giggled to himself. My cheeks burned as I smirked, tossing one of my pillows at him. He sat up, clutching it against him. 
"I thought you weren't asking me to move in." I said, propping my head up onto my hand, staring up at him. He stared back at me with a subtle smile, his cheeks still flushed. I felt my heart beat faster.

"I tell myself that the more I actually say it.. the more you'll get used to the idea." He said softly, reaching over, running his fingers through my hair. I bit down on my lip, holding my stare.

"And I also like to think after.. that, you won't be running off any time soon." He smirked. I felt my heart jump.
"Jacob!" I laughed, tossing my other pillow at him.
"Oh, come here." He sighed, pushing it to the side. He reached out, holding my face in his hands, pulling me into a kiss. I sighed, leaning in, kissing him back harder.

"We should probably head back downstairs.. I feel bad having left your dad alone for such a long time." He said.
"I know." I said softly. "But.. how often do we get a place like this to ourselves." I moved closer, sitting on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Mmm.." He sighed, his hands moving down to my waist. "You know I could stay here with you forever. But.. I kinda felt like.. things were going well. And.. I don't want him to change his mind about me."
"Alright.." I said, quickly kissing him again. "You go on down, I'll catch up with you in a minute."

"Okay." He said, sliding out of bed. I sat back against the pillows, watching him as he dressed. He peeked back, flashing me a smile. 
"Whatcha staring at?" He laughed, buttoning up his shirt. My cheeks burned.
"Nothing." I sighed. "I'm just.. thinking of how nice it'll be.. to wake up to this every morning." He stopped, looking back at me. I bit down on my lip feeling my cheeks burn. The more I thought about it, the more excited I got about the idea. He made his way over, leaning down, kissing me again.

"I'll see you downstairs." He said, gently touching my cheek. My heart started to race.
"Oh, and if my dad asks-"
"Don't worry.. I'll say you just.. drank a little too much." I giggled, feeling my cheeks burn.
"Thank you." He flashed me a big smile.
"And.. can you not tell.. anyone about us yet?" I said softly. He nodded, reaching for the door.

He knew who I meant.

"Jake.." He stopped and turned to face me.
"I love you." I said, giving him a subtle smile. He smirked, his cheeks turning red.
"I love you too." He sighed, walking out, shutting the door behind him.

I couldn't help but smile, rolling over in the bed, back onto his side. The sheets and pillows already smelt like him. I missed him already. Deep down I knew that I had made the right choice. He was everything I didn't even know I wanted and more, and now he was mine. 

Again.

I eventually got up and went into the bathroom, grabbing one of the robes from the back of the door, tightly wrapping it around me. After cleaning off what was left of my makeup, I brushed out my hair to make it somewhat presentable. The last thing I wanted was.. anyone downstairs suspecting anything had happened. As far as they knew, I had my head in the toilet. 

Which would be far less embarrassing to explain.

Looking around the bathroom, I noticed there weren't towels. Of course. There had to be a maid's cart with them outside somewhere. Propping open the door, I quickly made my way out into the hallway where thankfully there was one just at the top of the stairs. Just before turning the corner.. 

"Oh! Sorry!" I jumped, backing away.
"No, my fault." He said, gently grabbing my arm. My stomach dropped when I looked up and realized I was now face to face with Josh, who was holding up my mom, her arm wrapped around his shoulder.
"Oh.." I said, feeling my body get cold. "W-what's going on?" He looked me up and down, his face dropping.
"I could ask you the same thing." He said softly. I looked over to see my mom, barely able to keep her eyes open. I glared back at Josh.
"Don't worry. I'm giving her my room tonight. There's no way she's making it home. I'm just gonna stay with.. Sam." He said, staring back at me.
"Oh.. okay." I said, biting down on my lip. He looked back down at my robe, and then met my eyes again.

"I.. I was sick." I said, beating him to it. He nodded, holding his stare, no doubt not believing a single word I said. My heart was beating faster he longer he stared.
"Jess, do you think maybe.. after I get her settled in.. we can talk?" He asked.
"About what?" I could feel my heart racing.
"Just.. about everything. About us." I bit down on my lip. About us.

"Josh, I-"
"Where are you staying tonight? I.. I can come by.. " My cheeks burned even more, as I stared back.
"I'm.. I'm staying with Jake." I said softly. His face dropped. 

Now I actually felt like I was going to be sick. I hated seeing him like this. Despite everything, of course I still cared about him. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. But I loved Jake, and I didn't want to do anything to ruin it now.

"Oh." He said plainly, holding his stare on me. "Okay." 
"Josh, we can still t-"
"No, I.. I don't think so. I.. it's fine. I'm just gonna head to bed. I hope you at least had a good night." He said, turning away.
"Josh.." I heard him sigh as he stopped.
"You know, I just wish if you knew you were never going to actually choose me, you wouldn't have lead me on the way you did, making me think that.. you actually.." He stopped, looking away.

"Josh, I didn't mean-" 
"No, you.. you really weren't thinking about me at all."
"Josh, I'm sorry. We can talk tomorrow, I just-"
"You just have to get back to your boyfriend tonight." 

My heart dropped.

"Have a good night, Jess." He said, turning away, and leading my mom down the hallway to his room.

Despite everything, he always knew the perfect way to leave me thinking about him for the rest of the night.  


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