𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒚-𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.

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Ophelia

Warning! Mention of sexual assault. If you don't want to read this skip to the ***

"Here, take this," Lando says, handing me one of his hoodies. I smile thankful and put the soft hoodie on. I take in the scent and smile when I smell Lando's signature scent. I'm still a little shaky, but the worst anxiety has passed.

After our long hug in the park we decided to go back to Lando's apartment to talk and just be with each other. I follow him into the living room and we take place on the big couch. A blanket is laying on the backrest and I pull it over the both of us, getting more comfortable.

"Are you okay to talk about, well, everything? Because if you need more time I totally get it and I don't want to pres-" I cut off his ramble by giving him a sweet, quick kiss. He is taken off guard and I laugh softly at his expression. "It's okay, but I don't really know where to start, so maybe you can ask me what you want to know?"

It won't be easy to talk about what happened with Dylan, but I trust Lando and the way he poured his heart out to me a minute ago gave me the trust I needed to tell him about what happened. I brace myself for what he is going to ask and avoid looking at him directly.

"Okay, yeah sure. Whatever works best for you." He says and I feel him shift a little. I look at him and he smiles at me with a warmth that gives me the sensation that I am completely safe by his side. I gesture for him to go on and ask me something. He makes a small movement with his head and clears his throat. "Oh yeah right, uhm, you said someone hurt you. Who was it?"

I avert my gaze and look at my hands laying on my lap. I take one encouraging, last breath and start telling him.

"Dylan Porter was his name. We went to school together." I haven't spoken his name in three years and it makes me physically ill to do so. But Lando deserves to know why I am the way I am. "We, uhm, were together for three years. He was not my first boyfriend, but the first serious one."

While I'm speaking I start looking at my nails, searching for a reason not to look at Lando. I fumble with my nails and want to start biting when I finish the sentence, but Lando takes both of my hands in his and holds them. I look at him and see him looking at my hands with compassion in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I tend to do that a lot when I'm nervous," I explain my behaviour. He responds by shaking his head and looks back into my eyes. "Don't apologise." I nod and try to keep my hands still.

"Well, in school I wasn't popular, but I wasn't bullied either. I always just floated through everything with only Ashley by my side. Until he started taking an interest in me." I huff coldly because of the irony of everything. "You could say he chased me in the beginning, which should have been a major red flag in the first place. But I was young and the fact that the most popular guy in school could want me was something thrilling to me."

I sigh and think about the way Dylan chased me for a month. Leaving notes in my locker every now and then. Winking at me from across the cafeteria. It was a romance straight out of a movie.

"Eventually I let him in and we became a couple at the end of year eleven, he was a twelfth year. Over the summer everything was okay and we were just being in love, sneaking around our houses, because my parents didn't approve of me dating at the time. The second red flag, I guess." I sneak a glance at Lando who is listening carefully to every word I say, while still holding my hands and rubbing his thumbs along the back of them.

"Where did it go wrong?" he asks, trying to keep my thoughts on track. It's amazing, the way he keeps me calm and together and I lean into the couch a little more, resting my head on the backrest. I find the courage to maintain eye contact while I continue my explanation.

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