𝑺𝒊𝒙𝒕𝒚-𝒇𝒊𝒗𝒆.

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Lando

Pure panic is the feeling in my body when she stands in front of me, her face emotionless. So cold and hard I have never seen her. I reach out to take her hand, but she backs away from my touch. The hot tears in my eyes feel abnormal when I sit down on the steps of a backdoor. I bury my face in my hands and let the memory of that night back in.

"I should have told you immediately, but I just had you back that day and we were moving in, I forgot about it." My voice trembles as I look up at her. She comes back into the alleyway and leans against the wall in front of me. Her arms are crossed and she pulls up a brow. "You forgot?"

I let out a sigh and try to find the words to tell her without making it bigger than it is. "It's not that big a deal, really I-" But she interrupts me, fire coming from her eyes. "Not a Big deal?! You cheated on me!"

I shoot up from the steps, taking her hands in mine. "No, no, I didn't Lia. You have to believe me." She snorts at that, trying to take back her hands, but I won't let go. "Listen to me, please. I didn't cheat, I could have but I didn't." That was wrong. I regret the words coming from my mouth. I let her hands go and turn around, my hands going through my hair in frustration. "Fuck, not that I-, that came out wrong." I say turning around, being met with Ophelia looking like she wants to use me as a punching back and barley holding back.

"It sounds like you wanted to!" She pushes me back as hard as she can, but I grab her hands again to lead her to the steps to sit her down.

"Listen to me. That evening is a blur of alcohol and music. You were gone and I didn't know where we stood. It felt like I was losing you by being too much in love. It felt to me like heartbreak and when I mixed alcohol with that it made for some stupid situation." I start rambling, voice cracking because of the tears still coming from me, but I shake my head when Ophelia's eyes meet mine with nothing but anger and confusion.

I take a breath and stroke the back of her hand, more to calm myself down than her. "Look, you and I both know I get a lot of unwanted attention." Ophelia rolls her eyes at that, with good reason, but I wait a moment to let that get to her. She shifts a little and nods for me to go on.

"That evening this was also the case. There were a lot of women looking at me and trying to make conversation and more, that was all fine but I held it off with help of Max and his friends," I try to keep my head together, but Ophelia's angry gaze makes it hard for me to confront my own mistakes. "One of those friends was Sophie."

"The girl in the picture?" Lia seems to remember what I told her about the press following me that morning. I nod and she looks like she wants to slap me so I quickly continue. "We were just chatting and dancing and then she kissed me." I don't let Ophelia come in between my ramble by speaking so fast she can't get a word in. "But I pushed her away and told her not to. That I was with you and that I was happy with you. It made me miss you even more and I felt like such a dick for letting it happen. I should've never let her get that close. I'm so sorry Lia."

The seconds of silence following felt like an eternity. I don't dare look at her face as I wait for her to respond. Silent tears of shame still flow from my eyes when I hear her take a deep breath and let it go in a long sigh.

I look at her and am met with a weird sight. My girlfriend is looking up at the sky above us, a faint grimace on her face and her eyes closed. Now I am the one being confused. She shakes her head and looks back at me. "Christ Lan, why didn't you just tell me that morning when I came back?" She wipes the tears of my face.

I had expected anger and yelling, but she talks normal and seems fine with all of it. "I missed you so much and when you told me we were moving in I was so happy and I forgot about it, that is how little it meant." She seems to think about that and her face falls again.

"But it's been six weeks? Would you ever have told me if Max hadn't let it slip." The anger is back in her voice and I bite my lip. "Honestly, I forgot it happened so I don't know." She huffs at that. "Bullshit, you don't forget things like that. Be honest with yourself." Myself, not her, but I was keeping it from myself too.

I let go of her and lean my head on my hands. "I didn't want it to have happened so I forgot about it and never wanted to speak of it again." Shen nods, but stays silent for the rest of it.

"Please, say something. I thought you'd be furious," I whisper to her. She shakes her head. "I'm not. well I am, but not that it happened." I watch her stand upright. She starts pacing the alley up and down. "I knew when I started dating you that things like this happen in your life, with all the attention you get. I made peace with that." She stops and looks me straight in the eyes. "And you didn't cheat on me, Lan. I'm relieved at that, I was afraid you had turned into a dickhead like Dylan."

My face says enough to refute that statement. "Never. Believe me, I would never want to hurt you like that."

"But then why didn't you tell me?!" Now her eyes start showing water at the brim. "You kept it, weren't honest and I thought we were past keeping things from each other. Even if the truth is maybe hurtful to hear or tell." She starts pacing again. "You should've told me, Lando."

I don't know what to say to that. I know I fucked up by not telling her. Hearing her voice so small hurts me more than she would ever know. To do something I stop her in her tracks and push her against the wall with a soft touch. "It didn't mean anything and I didn't want to risk you being upset or angry with me over nothing." I hesitate a moment, but lean in to kiss her forehead. She lets me and that tells me she is past her anger.

"I love you so much and the thought of losing you scares me to death." She lets me put my arms around her and I push her into me with such force it looks like I will never let go again. If it is up to me I will never. "I'm so sorry for not coming to you with it earlier, that was stupid and I promise you I will never keep anything from you again."

She pushes me back a little and unexpectedly slaps me in the chest. "Don't," another slap. "Ever," another with her other hand. "Lie to me," she pushes with both her hands so I bang against the other wall. "Again." Her face is inches from mine and it's honestly terrifying to see her so serious. "I promise." I answer quickly and truthfully. She nods sternly, before standing on her toes and kissing me softly.

I'm taken aback by her sudden action of love. I thought she would walk away and be mad with me for a while. She pulls back with a pulled up brow. "Are you going to kiss me back?" I chuckle nervously and scratch my neck in discomfort. "I didn't think you would get past this so quickly."

She shrugs at that and kisses me fleetingly again. "Like I said, I was prepared for something like this. It's a dick move that you didn't tell me, but I am not going to let this stand in between us when this is the first," she pricks with her finger in my chest. "And last time it happened." I nod quickly at that and smile at the amazing women in front of me.

"And maybe I will be mad tomorrow, but the alcohol in my system makes it hard to be mad at you when you look so remorseful." I pull her into me and lay my lips on hers. The kiss is sweet and loving. She steps closer into my embrace, so we can feel our hearts beating as one against each other. My hands lay stately around her waist, keeping her close to me as her hands disappear in the curly ends of my hair. The lazy way her tongue roams through my mouth makes my heart beat faster. It's the way she kisses when she is drunk or tired and both apply in the situation. I love the lazy kisses we share as they are most of the times the kisses with most love in them.

"Look, you didn't break them up. All is fine and dandy, can we go back to the party now?" Ophelia and I jump apart by the sound of the voice. I turn to where the sound was coming from and see a redheaded Max standing with Charles grinning next to him.

I roll my eyes at them, letting go of my girlfriend who walks over to the two men. "You are an arse Verstappen, just as bad as that piece of shit." She points at me over her shoulder and I pull a face of offence. "Rude. I thought we were good again." I joke as I follow her out of the alley. "True, but you're still an arse sometimes." She kisses my cheek and slaps my butt hard to give her words some more power. Everyone laughs at that, including me. 

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