STUCK

13

i was in the line with the girls as we were handing out the meals for the fellow prisoners, gloria and i slaved away making the black girls who fucked with us a special meal, save for poussey she didnt do anything.

maria and i were laughing as there face scrunched up as they tasted the salt, we all continued with our jobs as they yess stuff at us, each comment making us laugh harder.

daya had sat todays work out because her back was giving her grief, so she was eating her food at a table when she got up to put the scraps away.

"hey, i want another tray" one of the black girls yelled, i was watching carefully as see what she did.

"you get what you get" dayanara says tiredly. i walk out from behind the serving line and walk over to her, i see the black girl put out her foot in front of daya and daya trips, landing face down in her splattered food.

i stormed over and helped daya up, checking if she was okay. after i see she was and theyre wasnt any bad damage i turn to the girl who i see was janae, and tapped her shoulder making her turn from yoga joan and face me.

"dont fuck with my sister bitch" i said as i balled my fist and let it pummel towards her nose, hearing a crack and the hands of the correctional officers pulling me to the shue made me laugh. i watch the blood spill from her nose into her mouth as she falls to the ground. i watch as bennett grabs her by the shoulder and pulls her up whispering something in her ear.

===

i get locked up in shue for 2 weeks because the assault was apparently unprovoked which was absolute bullshit, but now im out.

piper has been going around the prison and has been asking prisoners what they think love is.

"love is that feeling you get when u see someone and you think 'how can i make them happy' or 'what will make them smile' its the feeling of overwhelming joy caused by one person, its the thing that makes your heart glow" was my answer, after that piper left me to my own.

me and the hispanic girls were making cookies in the kitchen talking about our loves and what our partners did before lock up.

maritza was talking about this one guy who she claims flew her in on a helicopter to a stupid party.

"men hate valentines day" mami said picking up a few dished and scrubbing with a sponge.

i was between her and maria, i was washing the knives when i looked down and thought i saw the knife covered in blood, i gasp and drop the weapon. staggering back maria and all the others looked at me "you alright bub?" mami asked seeing my face all pale now. i nod and swallow spit, "yeah just uh a flashback" i shrugged getting my breathing under control and going back to washing up.

i stayed quiet while they were talking about their baby daddies and boyfriends who got them gifts or did something sweet.

the only thing juan ever did was showed me off to his asshole friends like i was i fucking a diamond.

"it must be hard being locked up on valentines day" one of the lady C.Os said as she was observing our conversation, we all looked at her funnily. 

"oh my god, thank you fisher, its like we've never thought about it like that" i say in my best white girl voice, she smiled and thought i was being genuine.

"want a cookie" flaca said walking over to the special cookies i made, picked it up and handed it to fisher.

we all snickered as she at it quick when bennett walked into the kitchen, shooting fisher a weird look when she scoffed down the cookie not barring the embarrassment.

"you needs some water fisher" bennett asked putting his hand out, i laughed and said "no i think she needs some milk" the group howled with laughter. we turned back around and maria whispered "i knew she didnt swallow" which made us laugh even harder.

co bennett and daya went of into a seperate part of the kitchen to do what ever they are doing, while the rest of us worked. well the rest of the girls worked i just ate uncooked cookie batter and icing while watching the girls do actual work.

mami interrupted daya and her baby daddies conversation about god knows what asking her to grab something from the shelfs.

we approached, mami digging around in her bra and me fishing something from my pocket.

"here" i said handing him the paper.

"whats this" he says taking them both out of our hands.

"they're list" mami said as if her was stupid, which he might very well be, "want to keep the mother and sister in law happy right" i say grinning, knowing he'll do whatever we want because he loves my sister.

i walked off smiling knowing what was on my list, a 40 pack of ultra light cigarettes, a lighter and some matches.