STUCK

18

today i woke up with a bad feeling, i felt un pretty. i mean it is prison for gods sakes so i dont what i expected.

gloria was telling me about how she was going to get her hair done and she thought it would be nice for me to tag along.

we were walking down to the salon that the prison allows after breakfast.

"so, your mami tells me you a mother" the latina asks me as we head down a hall, passing prisoners and correctional officers as we speak. i nod and turn to her "yeh, it seems to be the conversation of the year" i laugh, noticing how many people have brought it up in the past few days.

"i mean, youre young bonita. of course people are going to be talking about it" gloria responded, as her head turns to me she smiles.

"when your kids were born, did you uh. did you ever smell the tops of their heads" i say nervously wondering if it was just me. she laughed and shook her head yes "yeah, my little benny and julio smelt like burnt marshmallows but my eldest smelt like carmel" she smiles likely remembering her kids.

"you have more than two kids?" i asked as we rounded the corner, she laughed breathlessly "yeh but i dont think they think of me as a mother anymore" she responded which made me give her a look saying 'huh?'.

"i had to leave them in cuba" she said point blank, i nodded and smiles, putting my arm around her, giving her cheek a kiss before saying "being a mother is a decease, its the love that destroys us and its the pain that kills us, but no matter how much they might hate you, youll always be their mother and no one will ever replace that" her sad smile turned less.

we arrived to the salon and walked in, sitting in the seat first was gloria.

"you sure you just want the usual" sophia burset asked as gloria tucked the hair behind her ears.

"isnt that why its called the usual" i say front my seat next to her.

" i mean youre running the kitchen now, dont you want to make a statement?" burset asked, clipping the cape around her neck and smoothing its ruffles. 

"what? should i dye my hair fuchsia" gloria said sarcastically, to which burset replies with "its auburn, but not for you" i giggle at the words she spoke.

"i think a nice mohawk will give a great, 'fuck with me you die bitch' vibe dont you reckon sophia" i laugh, gloria turns her head and speaks "i mostly use my face for that" and she winks.

an old lady walks in muttering something about voliots and sophia seems to know what she means because she said "oh you're right, ill check on that" before turning back to glorias head of hair.

"everyday in this place i get more confused" gloria says letting burset brush her hair.

=== 

after gloria and i got our hair done we went back to the kitchen to start helping with lunch. my hair was now shoulder length with two blonde streaks in the front, i liked that it looked like dayanaras hair 

gloria got straight back into work, running around the kitchen testing food and checking if things were hot enough.

"a bunch of latinas cant make even rice and beans! whats wrong with this picture" she yelled after tasting some rice a lady was moving 

"i grew up eating chinese, my step dad from then was named cheng dong" maria said as she stirred some eggs.

they continues to talk but i was distracted by bennett walking in with a bag in his hand, heading straight to flaca and maritza.

"santa" flaca laughed as she ran over to him and grabbed the shit she asked for.

"fuck santa, bitch gave me coal 4 years in a row" i huffed, then looked over to mami and stuck my tongue out at her. "sorry but i needed money for drugs" she laughed at my antics.

"vamos!" gloria yelled as she broke up our conversation and telling us to hurry.

daya and i went out to do hand out and we saw piper.

"hey pipes, i was wondering if you could hook daya up with youre news letter thing" i asked over the food, "huh?" daya said putting a heap of meat onto someones tray. "i was thinking maybe you could put your comics and drawing in the pages" i offered before piper cut in "i think it would great" and she left with her new lap dog some girl named soso

the next person in line was poussay "hey girl, how you been" i say grinning, she looked up and saw me "hey bitch" we laughed.

"so, has black morticia been giving you shit again?" i asked as she put her tray out for me to put some meat on there.  she shook her head no and laughed "i got to go but talk to you later girl" she said as she left the line and sat down with her group.

daya looked to me and smiled "i like youre new hair, its cute" she says pointing her gloved hand at my hair.

"thanks nara" i say using the old name for her, i havent used it since i was kid and couldnt pronounce her full name.