I'M LOST

BAB 8: Finding The Purpose of Life

Aku menyelam masuk ke dalam laman web gelap itu sekali lagi. Ada banyak perbualan daripada Knights of The Round Table yang tidak dibaca kerana aku sibuk melayan perasaan.

Dragonlord: Aithusa? Are you okay?

Lancelot: Yeah, you just left without saying anything

Arthur: Sorry Aithusa, I'm busy. You know I have real works to do

Aithusa: I'm fine, thanks guys.

Dragonlord: Did something happen?

Aithusa: Something did happen. But it doesn't matter anymore.

Gwaine: Good, everything is settled. What about the S.A Prodigy, do you get accepted?

Aithusa: No, I don't get accepted. Maybe it's not for me.

Gwaine: Nah, it's fine. It's just a competition for people who are insecure with their talent and skills until they need other people's recognition to show their skills are good.

Aku hanya tergelak dengan kata-kata Gwaine.

Aithusa:. I'm just thinking... Do you guys have other real jobs, besides fighting with illegal websites?

Dragonlord: How can we eat if we don't have any real jobs? Fighting criminals on the dark web doesn't give you food, unless the government pays for our services for protecting humanity.

Arthur: Legittt! We should be paid, but we are just humble folks.

Lancelot: We are here because we don't want to be known. Not all heroes wear capes, sometimes they just sit in front of computers and push some buttons.

Aithusa: So, you're only here to help humanity?

Gwaine: For me, yup. It feels good when you do something good and people don't know about it. Imagine, people know about you, and you will be put under pressure because you're expected to save people all the time.

Arthur: Trueee, the expectation that we will be good all the time... Bruh I'm out if people know what we are doing at night. Even that is a good thing.

Gwaine: Saving humanity is a part time job. My full time job is to feed my family.

Dragonlord: We all have reputation in the real world, we cannot be seen doing this.

Aithusa: So, your only purpose is learning hacking only to help people?

Dragonlord: Not my only purpose, I do have other purposes.

Lancelot: Yes.

Arthur: No doubt.

Aku terdiam membaca jawapan daripada mereka. Aku sebenarnya sedang mencari semula sebab aku berminat untuk menceburi bidang ini. Jika aku menceburi bidang ini semata kerana aku suka menolong orang, membanteras jenayah di alam maya... Mungkin ada kerjaya lain yang tak semestinya perlu dalam industri ini. Mungkin ada kerjaya yang membolehkan aku untuk menolong orang. Mungkin passion aku bukan dalam bidang pengekodan, mungkin passion aku menolong orang dalam keadaan aku tidak dikenali. Aku tersandar pada kerusi gaming aku.

Kerjaya bukan tujuan. Kerjaya bukan sebuah impian. Kerjaya hanyalah alat untuk mencapai tujuan hidup berdasarkan kepakaran yang kita ada. Mungkin impian kita untuk negara yang lebih baik, dan kita letakkan kepakaran kita di tempatnya untuk mencapai tujuan tersebut bersama-sama mereka yang mempunyai kepakaran yang berbeza dengan kita.

Aku mengangkat wajah aku, memandang dinding yang tertampal wajah Ezra Rinamoto. Di sebelahnya pula ada banyak keratan surat khabar berkenaan S.A. Dulu aku nak jadi seperti Ezra Rinamoto sebab bagi aku dia hebat, berwibawa, aku terinspirasi dengan kemahiran yang dia ada. Dia gunakan bakat dia untuk memajukan Lance, menolong anak bangsa dalam bentuk biasiswa, buka peluang pekerjaan kepada graduan dalam bidang siber, memberikan pekerja dalam bidang siber gaji yang bermaruah.