Secrets || Lando Norris

067

Elianna

I didn't forget about the bet me and him made. On one hand it was stupid, because now he will most likely know what really went down, and will know he won another girl's heart that can be added to his collection. Embarrassing for my ego, but at least it's going to make him happy.

On the other hand, it didn't matter anymore. I could do whatever I want.

The initial plan that I had in my head in case I would actually consider dyeing my hair was that I would go to Pascale, since I trust her the most. But of course, travelling this much would soon enough bring me to a point where I'd have no money - not a good idea in my opinion - so I ended up in a hair salon in London.

As the hairdresser started applying the texture of something on my hair, my mind went on a spiral of emotions for the first time in two days. Did I run and save myself or did I lose something important?

The second option was more realistic, even when I didn't want to admit it to myself.

No, I did let myself admit that all of it did actually hurt me. On the way back home, I cried like a girl after a breakup and even ignored the fact I hated planes. Which wasn't even making sense - we weren't in an actual relationship.

I just got attached so hard to someone I wasn't supposed to.

Hating that it was the only option that came to my mind, I called Zoe this morning and asked her if it could end. I knew that it wouldn't be that easy and that I would have to do some things in order to not ruin me and his press entirely. This was something I studied and knew that I just basically dropped a whole meteor at her, but as Charles said - I need to put myself above all.

Social media is toxic. That is something that everyone has to realise and go with it - because it's not going to change. If you're a celebrity or an influencer or just a public figure - your every step is going to be watched and scanned, and you can't do anything about it. The only thing you can do is try to control the way you act in public.

But I suppose for Lando that was never an excellent ability. I knew he tried. I knew it because I saw a change in him. Charles did, Genevieve did– everyone did. He just got lost along the way of becoming the better version..and with another girl whilst also supposedly dating me. But I also knew he didn't feel anything more toward me. Or maybe there was a miniscule possibility under all the covers to his heart that he did feel something, but he knew - and knows that he doesn't want to.

And I had to respect that. Even though it hurt.

What was an obstacle to ending things was the fake dating stunt, which if we would announce the end now - if that's even possible - it would have consequences of him having the image of a cheater. Which wasn't the case in reality but I guess I won't just come on YouTube and be like; 'well guys, we weren't actually dating, so he didn't cheat, so it's all good! I just fell in love when I wasn't supposed to, therefore we're ending it!'

Yeah, no. I don't think anyone would appreciate that type of video.

"Support coffee on its way!" Amanda's voice woke me from my thoughts as she handed me the coffee cup. "How's it going?"

"Freaking out," honest and unfiltered. I chuckled at my own reflection - hair and aluminium everywhere.

Amanda sat down on the chair next to me whilst the hairdresser kept applying the solution on my hair. She gave me a smile as I took a sip of the coffee. Last night I told her everything, whilst we were booking today's hair appointment. Understandably she was shocked, because as everyone claimed - nothing seemed to be pretended and looked real. Another dig and twist in my heart.