𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐒 | 𝒋𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒖𝒂 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒕𝒕

𝟎𝟑𝟒. 𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔

Chloe's POV

𝐈 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐔𝐏 to set today. I wasn't even in any scenes so it was technically fine, but people usually showed up anyway to hang out with everyone between scenes. But I simply didn't have the energy to talk to other humans today. I was in the living room watching The Office to bring my mood up, and it did the trick but it was superficial as the second I stopped watching it, I would feel like shit again.

I was angry with myself for bringing all that shit up to Joshua. I should've just kept my mouth shut and waited for those feelings to pass over, because then we could've been in his trailer dancing to some 2000's bop like American Boy in his trailer right about now.

But there was also a part of me that was proud of myself because usually I would just keep all my feelings inside until it exploded at the wrong time, and things would turn out worse. I just wish Josh understood that - well I thought he already did - and understood that it was new of me to talk about my feelings when they were happening. But instead he insisted that they were invalid.

After I talked to Maeve however and said how it was his fault, she pointed out that I'm not totally in the clear either. Of course he'd be mad when we had been through this issue before, from some force - internal or external - getting in the way of what we had, and have it scare me away. But I tried explaining so many times to Josh that it was different this time, but he was so blind with fury he didn't want to hear it. She had no counterattack.

Josh and I bickered and argued regularly when we were together like any couple, but it was always about something inconsequential. We would yell some shit, as it was honestly just healthy, before apologising to the other and then making out or something. But this was something else; I didn't know how to face him.

Neither of us had contacted the other and now it was midday, I was in some tattered gym clothes, waiting for Maeve to make her famous grilled cheese sandwiches. The kitchen smelled like fatty goodness which is something I really needed, she walked in with two plates before drooping on the couch beside me.

"No offence bub, but this is not the Chloe I wanted to hang out with on my time away." she said with a sigh and I looked at her with apologetic eyes.

"I know. I'm sorry - it's fucking stupid it's like I have no motivation to breathe the oxygen outside today" I mumbled before taking a small bite of the grilled cheese, I knew I had to savour every goddamn bite.

"Well at least I won't be subjected to an eight hour tour of that fatass theatre school" she retorted and I shot an offended glance at her but she shrugged her shoulders.

"I bet if you gave at least our show a chance, you would end up vibing with HSM" I stressed.

"I'm gonna watch it for you and nothing else, except I'm low key Team E.J. after reading that final script - I'll also watch for him 'cause he's hot" she commented and we both giggled.

"I'll let him know you said that" I teased with a wink and she rolled her eyes.

"Well you'd have to actually show up to set for that to happen" she retorted and I then pursed my lips awkwardly.

"Okay just tell me this, has he said I love you yet?" she then asked and I shook my head after a few moments, causing her to frown slightly.

"W-well he said when we were dating but once we made up, no it wasn't said again...actually I think he almost said it at one point but then he replace with 'later'" I added whilst acting out speech marks.

"He's probably waiting for the right time then, was Olivia there though?" she then asked suspiciously. I immediately confirmed that and she awkwardly smiled whilst showing her teeth, which made me poke her with furrowed brows. If what Josh was pleading was true, that couldn't be a contributing factor.