Imperfect

The Talk

After a full facial, a massage, and a pedicure, I felt much better. My beautician had gone home and I was laid up on the sofa, catching up with some television. I didn't often get a chance to just sit and watch television these days, but I felt like I had earned it today. The door swung open suddenly and in walked Finley. He closed the door and leaned against it. I didn't acknowledge him and just continued watching tv. If he could run away from the situation then we would address it when I was ready.

"I think you're right." He said quietly as he appeared in the doorway. I continued watching television. He sounded shaken but I wasn't sure why.

"About?" I asked flatly. Of course he meant everything, and I knew I was but I wanted to hear him say it.

"Jen. She uh, she just tried to kiss me." He revealed. I immediately felt my blood boiling once again. I had only just calmed myself down, and now I felt a rage inside me that I had never felt before.

"She WHAT?" I shouted, I sat bolt upright and narrowed my eyes at him. I examined his face and tried to figure out whether he was lying or not. He had a wide eyed, nervous look on his face. He looked like a deer stuck on a busy road being completely dazzled by headlights.

"Dont worry, I stopped her. I ended up having an argument with her. She started talking crap about you. I put her in her place though and told her she's never given you a chance so I wasn't surprised you didn't like her." He looked at me, I could tell he was being truthful. Finley wouldn't be this shaken if it didn't happen.

"Well I hope you had a lovely time. I know I did." I said smirking at him. I felt like I had finally come out on top for once. It was petty, but if he hadn't gone out in the first place, he wouldn't have put himself in this position.

"Look Claire, I want to talk about this. I know I shouldn't have gone out, but I don't want us to argue. I want us to talk like adults." He said calmly. I was in two minds about what to do but I gave in, against my better judgement.

"Fine. Get talking." I said coldly. He rolled his eyes and sat down. I muted the tv.

"Ok let's start with the absolutely BS that dumb and dumber told you. Claire I don't give a damn whether the people in my world accept you or not. I love you and I accept you. I want you in my life. What other people think doesn't matter to me at all. It shouldn't matter to you either." He explained, "I don't know how to help you stop caring." He grimaced slightly. Was he really trying to make out it was my fault that I cared? Had he forgotten that he had only revealed my existence a few months ago? I was still trying to adjust.

" What about you letting people talk down to me? You let Jen stand there and speak to me like I was nothing, over and over again. You have never addressed your fans telling me to kill myself dozens of times a day! All I hear from you is 'ah just ignore it babe.' I can't Finley. I can't ignore it. It drives me crazy." He sighed,

"Ok well, I will address them. I will put out a request and from now on, I'll block people leaving hate. Maybe then they will get the message." He said. "And if it doesn't work, then I will delete my social media and they can lose out on any interactions with me." I was shocked at the sudden change in his attitude. He loved interacting with his fans and I was surprised he would do that for me. Especially as things had been so difficult between us.

" Thank you. That's all I wanted." I said, slightly less angrily.

"I guess we need to address the other part of last night now." He rubbed his face. I could tell he was dreading talking about this, but he knew my stance on it. I had made it abundantly clear throughout our time together. "That was only like the third time I've done it. I'm not an addict, but I can see how much it hurt you. I promise from here on out, other than alcohol, I will lead a clean life. I don't want you to ever look at me like you did last night." I could see him getting emotional and I hugged my knees to my chest. "I've never seen you look so disappointed, hurt, and disgusted all at the same time. All I know is that was my wake up call. I will never touch it again. I promise." His voice cracked slightly and I looked at him. His beautiful green eyes were filling with tears and I desperately wanted to hug him and make him feel better, but I couldn't. I needed to see the change to believe it.