Imperfect

Life After Boots

Finley reappeared a few minutes later and slumped down on the sofa. I was still sobbing and my heart felt heavy with emotions. I couldn't believe Boots was gone.

"Are y-you ok?" I asked Finley through heavy sobs.

"Not in the slightest." He said. His head was in his hands and I could tell he was more cut up about this than me. Boots had been there to counsel him through the breakup. I knew what it meant coming home to him after a long day, so I could feel Finley's pain. We both sat in a heavy silence that was only interrupted by the sounds of me crying and both of us sniffing.

"He was so special" I managed to say after a few minutes. "We were so blessed to have him." Finley looked up at me. He smiled sadly at me and that said everything. His eyes were bloodshot and and his nose was bright red where he had been rubbing it. "I'll head home soon. I just need to calm down." I said.

"Claire, can I ask you for a favour?" He said quietly. I nodded and wiped my eyes again. I was running out of tears and they were slowing, but the heartache I felt was spreading through my body like a vicious poison. "Can I have a hug?" He said. I didn't think twice. I got up and practically dove on him. We embraced each other and we were both shaking with emotion. We both knew that only the other could understand the pain we were experiencing. We held each other tightly and cried together not saying a word. Sierra jumped up on us and began gently pawing at us, trying to calm us down. We released each other and looked at her.

"Hey baby girl." I said. I gently reached out and scratched her chin. She meowed softly and settled herself in Finley's lap. "Typical. Stealing my cat now are you?" I said rolling my eyes. We both found a moment of comedy in our sadness but ultimately the tears returned. We both sat in silence for hours. Sierra was asleep on Finley's lap and Finley had his arm around my shoulders. Neither of us were feeling anything except sadness and right now we were the best people to comfort each other. I found myself falling asleep through tears. My body and mind were both exhausted. I felt completely broken and Finley had already drifted off.

I woke when my phone started ringing. I sat up quickly and looked around. I realised where I was and wondered what time it was. I grabbed my phone. It was Jamie.

"Hello?" I said hoarsely. My eyes were burning and I could barely open them. My face felt wet and I was certain my tears hadn't stopped when I fell asleep.

"Are you ok? Your Mum told me and I went to the house but you weren't there. Where are you?" He inquired worriedly.

"I'm at Finley's." I replied flatly.

"Claire for fuck's sake! You can't go running back every time your past comes up!" He shouted down the phone. I pulled it away from my ear. I immediately burst into tears through the phone. "I'm sorry but it's the truth. It's been a year and a half it's time to move on!" His tone was furious and I knew he thought I was pathetic, but losing Boots was a devastating blow.

"He's gone Jay. Mr Boots is gone. Yes. You're right. I can't keep running back, but this is different. Nothing is going on. I came to say goodbye and now he's gone. I fell asleep, so sue me. But please for the love of God do not stand there and shout at me." I practically screamed down the phone. He didn't understand. Jamie had never really got attached to an animal. But I was not going to sit here and be told I was wrong for saying goodbye to Boots. He had been there for me in some of my darkest hours. He had helped me stop crying myself to sleep after the break up, and more than anything he had loved me no matter what I did.

"I'm sorry.... I didn't know." He said sympathetically. His voice had softened and his whole attitude had transformed. But I was angry at him for jumping to conclusions. "Claire if you need anything-" I cut him off.