MOONDUST

61 🌙 Dreams do come true

Jules Martin

Tears stung my eyes as I stood in front of her door the day after I read that letter. I came back. Of course I did, I would always come back to her.

I knocked, fear in my movements as my fist trembled, and my chest felt like it was being compressed. No answer. Nothing, not even the slightest noise on the other side.

Lu, please open the door.

Please.

I knocked again, still nothing, and my heart pounded harder with each knock that was left unanswered. I thought about kicking the door open for just a split second, but I guess there was no way to fight her pushing me away.

Please.

The tears that stung my eyes before, fell down my cheeks until I tasted the salt.

This can't be happening.

I wanted to scream, but instead I fell apart, again. Her words from yesterday strained my heart and thoughts while I slid down the door until I collided with the tiles.

Please, I wasn't just a distraction, was I?.

The word distraction had never sounded so grim as when she yelled it at me.

She's a bad liar.

God I hope that was a lie.

Even if she didn't mean it, it sliced through me, worse than anything I had felt before. Worse than my worst moments combined. I wanted to ask her if she meant it, needing the hear her say no. That's why I sat in front of her door to find answers, and to tell her I wasn't going to let her push me away. Time was all we had left, and she was definitely wasting it on possible lies.

That was more than a week ago. Yeah, a week. No answer, no nothing, no Luna. She had disappeared into thin air, and nobody knew where she was. Not me, not her friends. She didn't even take her stuff with her as Sophia noticed nothing was missing from her closet. We had even called her dad and she wasn't there either. She left, and she left everything and everyone behind.

My room had been my comfort space, my bed where she had slept, my pillow on which she had laid, my duvet which she had held, my stuff she had touched. She was everywhere, yet still she was gone, to somewhere only she knew. Since last time I saw her I barely slept, afraid to wake up with the feeling of having to let her go. But I was more afraid to dream. Because she was my dream whenever I was awake. She was mine and I was hers and now all that was left was a lonely nightmare keeping me awake.

I kept looking at the ceiling, trying to see the cracks through the never ending well of tears. There was no stop to them, because not knowing where she was or what happened to her was worse than the truth in that letter. The truth hurt, sure, but this was beyond anything that that four letter word could express. There was no definition, no explanation for how the loss, the pain, the loneliness felt and consumed every one of my thoughts. I told her I would be lost without her, but I was wrong. Lost didn't even come close to it.

"Ju, come on. You have to show up to practice man." Ezra knocked on the door. "I ran out of excuses to cover for you."

"I don't care." I yelled back, biting away the heartbreak on the tip of my tongue. I felt empty. Like the way my arms felt when she's not here to hold. Like my chest felt as there was nothing in it. Not my head though, my head was crowded with too many tormenting thoughts.

Completely and utterly destroyed was a good way to describe my mental and physical state. Concluding, guys hurt too. Maybe even more. At least I do!