MOONDUST

62 🌙 For Luna

Jules Martin

One more game and I can go home.

Slowly, waking up from the dizzying tornado of hurt and loss that turned my lights off the night before, the reality came back crashing on me. It weighed me down, with the weight of too many thoughts and questions.

I became aware of Luna's vanilla perfume still lingering on her pillow as I held it clenched between my hands. My face was buried into it like I wanted to scream my lungs out into the soft tissue.  

Shit I fell asleep.

I wasn't lying in my own bed, my own sheets, my own room, I was waking up in hers. Which was not completely true either, because hers had become mine the past weeks, and now it wasn't anymore, feeling strange.

What time is it?

I squinted my eyes at my phone, a picture of Luna on my screen starting the day with another set of tears.

Lu, you're still not back...

I don't know how long I can keep doing this.

Waking up alone.

No word, text, or simple call from you.

One more game and I can go home.

"Game? Shit!" I cussed into the cold air while throwing the sheets off me. I stumbled my way out of the room, only to meet some voices in the kitchen. "Why did y-y-you let me sleep!" I frowned at Ezra as I pulled my hoodie over my head at the threshold. Sophia was sitting next to him when her apologetic gaze met mine. Why apologetic? I figured because she and him had been laughing, joyfully, before I walked in and the atmosphere turned darker than a wake. I guess she didn't feel like she deserved to smile, to laugh, be happy, not when I was around. "Please continue, I'm sad enough f-f-for the three of us. No need to stop laughing as s-soon as I turn around the corner. I can use some bad Ezra jokes t-too." I said dryer than indented, because dammit I wanted to smile so hard until the hurt in my cheeks overpowered the tightness in my chest.

"You haven't slept all week Ju. Like the jokes, which aren't bad and you know it, you could use some sleep too." Ezra looked at me through his eyelashes, as if he was being careful.

"How do y-y-you know I haven't s-slept all week?"

"You look like it." Ez wiggled his brows at his own clown attempt.

"And here I was thinking I only felt l-l-like shit on the inside."

"You can't cover up the puck size bags under your eyes and your exhausted raspy voice. Your looks are impeccable Juju, but not that immaculate." I rolled my eyes at him, but he didn't take offence at my morning mood; he was used to it by now. "Eat something, you look like you need that too." Ezra eyed at the oatmeal and different breakfast options at the center of the table.

"What a-a-are you, my dad?" I rasped, pulling a brow at him, while I joined them at the table.

"Well, I'd like to think I'm a daddy yeah." His stupid joke actually made me laugh. It wasn't a loud, heartfelt laugh, but close enough.

"That true, Sophia?" I smirked at her from across the table and instantly she choked on her cereal, coughing until her eyes started to water.

"No comment." She smiled through her efforts not to suffocate. "Jules, eat something. My fridge is your fridge." Her smiled felt sincere, like I was still part of this family with or without Luna. Although it no longer felt like home, it was still a place I felt somewhat accepted.