Maddison Winchester: Journal 4 {Supernatural}

20 Lucifer Rising: Part 2

The three of us sat in the living room, eating some breakfast, trying to ignore Sam's shouts.

"Bobby! Dean! Maddi!" he yelled, "Help! Hey! Hey! Guys! Guys! Help! Dean! Maddison!"

I stood up and walked toward the basement.

Dean sighed. "Maddison..."

I looked over at him. "I'm just gonna go sit with him for a while. I won't do anything stupid."

He shook his head. "That's not what I'm worried about." He gave me a look, but I decided to walk down the stairs anyway.

I walked up to the panic room door, but as I turned to sit in the front of it, I tripped over something and smashed my elbow into the giant lock on the front of it.

My whole arm started tingling, and I grabbed it. "Ow, damn it."

"Maddison?" Sam asked, and I could hear him move up close next to the door.

I didn't answer. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to talk to him.

"Please..." he begged, "I'm going crazy in here. Just please talk to me."

I thought for a second, but my heart couldn't take ignoring his pained pleas. "Yeah, Sam, it's me." I sat down and leaned against the door.

"Oh, thank god. It's so good to hear your voice," he said.

I sighed. "I'm really sorry about this, Sam. We're just trying to help you."

"There's nothing to help, I'm fine. The only thing that's hurting me is being stuck in here," Sam said, "Please, let me out."

"I— I can't, Sam," I said sadly, "I'm sorry."

"Why?" he asked.

"I just can't," I said.

"'Cause of Dean?" he asked.

I furrowed my brow. "No. This is going to help you. I promise."

Sam chuckled. "Be honest, if you had to choose between Dean or me... you would choose him every time."

"What?" I asked angrily, "How could you say that?"

"Because it's true," he said.

I shook my head. "Sam, no, it's—"

"Yeah, it is," he said, "Because if it wasn't, you wouldn't have told him about Alastair—"

"Like I told you before... I didn't," I said.

"You wouldn't have told him about the demon blood," he said.

I scoffed. "It doesn't matter that I told him that, he—"

"So, you did tell him that," Sam said.

"Yeah, ya know what, I did, but it doesn't even matter because he ended up finding out himself," I started to raise my voice, "Remember when you sucked on that demon bitch's neck like a damn leech?"

Sam chuckled and scoffed. "Why are you even down here? I'm surprised Dean doesn't have you basically attached to his side."

"I wanted to check on you," I said, "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, whatever," he said, "If you really cared, you would let me out of here."

"Just stop, all right?" I asked. "I know this isn't you talking. So I'm just going to sit here with you whether you like it or not."

"Just go away!" Sam yelled.

"No! I want to know that you're going to be okay!" I yelled, starting to cry. "This all scares the hell out of me, I don't want to lose you. And selfishly, I'm terrified, I want to know what I'm up against. I don't want to lose myself like you are!"