Maddison Winchester: Journal 4 {Supernatural}

20 Lucifer Rising: Part 1

May 7th - May 14th, 2009

Bobby walked upstairs, leaving Dean and me outside of the panic room.

"Okay. Let me out. This is not funny," Sam pleaded.

"Damn straight," Dean said coldly and opened the window cover.

"Dean come on. This is crazy," Sam said.

Dean shook his head. "No. Not until you dry out."

Sam sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you. Just open the door."

"You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault. It's not your fault that you lied to us over and over again. It's not your fault that you let Maddi keep your secrets for you. I get it now. You couldn't help it," Dean said.

"I'm not some junkie!" Sam shouted.

"Really?" Dean asked. "I guess I've just imagined how strung out you've been lately."

"You're actually trying to twist this into some kind of ridiculous drug intervention?" Sam asked.

Dean shrugged. "If it smells like a duck."

"Dean, I'm not drinking the demon blood for kicks. I'm getting strong enough to kill Lilith," Sam snapped.

"Strong?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," Sam said.

"This is about as far away from strong as you can get." Dean shook his head. "Try weak. Try desperate. Pathetic."

"Killing Lilith is what matters. Or are you so busy being self-righteous you forgot about her?" Sam asked.

"Oh, Lilith's gonna die. We'll kill her. But not with you," Dean said.

"You're not serious," Sam said, sounding annoyed and disappointed.

"Congrats, Sammy. You just bought yourself a benchwarmer seat to the apocalypse," Dean said.

Sam sighed. "Dean, look—"

Dean shut the window cover.

"No, wait!" Sam yelled, starting to panic. "Come back here. Dean! Let me out of here! Dean! Let me out of here! Let me out! Dean!"

I looked up at Dean sadly as he turned around. He didn't say anything but put his arm around my shoulders as he guided me upstairs to Bobby's living room.

Bobby poured two glasses of whiskey and handed one to Dean.

"Stop! Stop!" Sam shouted from down in the basement.

"How long is this gonna go on?" Dean asked.

"Here, let me look it up in my demon-detox manual. Oh, wait. No one ever wrote one." Bobby shrugged. "No telling how long it'll take. Hell, or if Sam will even live through it."

I looked down. I was feeling guilty and terrible about what was happening to him. I felt like if I had just told Dean sooner that it wouldn't have gone this far. It was completely my fault.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Bobby sighed and answered his phone, "Hello?" (...) "Suck dirt and die, Rufus. You call me again, I'll kill you." He hung up.

"What's up with Rufus?" Dean asked.

"He knows," Bobby snapped.

Ring! Ring!

He answered his phone again, "I'm busy, you son of a bitch. This better be important."

I sighed and stood up, wandering my way back down to the basement. I sat on the floor and leaned up against the door of the panic room. I just wanted to be close to him. It made me feel better to hear him moving, even just yelling. At least I knew he was still breathing.