His Intense Love

43

Jen

After a lot of effort, I successfully put Rick on the bed, he groans in a pain. He has some ugly bruises on his body and a few red marks on his ribs and back. His lips are battered, and one eye is badly swollen. I can see most of the skin of his knuckles is gone.

"What happened to you?" The question came out of my mouth suddenly. He must be feeling terrible, should I help him with ointments or pain killer? He looks passed out.

"Fight" I startled when he replied, I was not expecting that.

"For?" again I blurted.

"A match" He is too exhausted with the pain, still he is answering me on his accord. I don't know if he will remember this next morning. His eyes are closed, he is sleeping on his stomach, yet he is replying firmly.

A fighting match, since when he started? How I am not aware of it? My conscience answered it like a slap on my face, because you don't know him at all, he has never been real to you.

Right, I reminded myself that I was a part of a Fake love story, a Scam of love.

Let him deal with his pain alone, he deserves it. His pain should not concern me, I got up from his side to take a nap.

"I miss Emily" The sadness in his voice, slaughtered me. I couldn't put in words how I feel about Emily. Whenever I think of her, I felt tremendous guilt. Honestly, I could relate to her. I can understand the reason for her taking such a drastic step. Sometimes, I don't blame Rick for taking Revenge on my family, his action seems justified.

"She hates me too" What? I am shocked, how could he think that? Walkout from him, this is not good, definitely its not good, how tore I felt looking at him. His eyes are closed. A bitter smile tug at the corner of his mouth.

"I deserve it" Why he is talking? After a pause he continued "Everything" I feel like I'm glued to the floor, I can't move. A small tear trickled out of the corner of his eye as he said "But not our kid" His sharp heartbroken words penetrated the tightness in my chest, I couldn't stand anymore, I slump on the bed. I struggle with the sad remembrance indelibly imprinted on my heart, I stare at Rick with helplessness and guilt.

"Why, Jen?" With his every word, my heart shattered into million pieces, tears welling up in my eyes, the realization of what I really did hit me. I am having the overwhelming feeling of breaking down and crying. I let the tears fall freely, holding my emotions is very tiring. Keeping a stone face, being strong, and trying to show the world that nothing could affect me is exhausting.

My gaze fixed on Rick, watching his vulnerability is my undoing. This is the first time we are mourning for our son, yes it was a boy.. I sigh a deep painful breath. Watching Rick's tears, my heart began to wail. I move the few inches which remain between us, his back rising and falling, I could see tears falling from his eyes and mechanically I stroke the middle of his back, round and round to soothe him, as if he is suffering some minor pain that might be soothed away by my massage. He makes no movement of response. I lift my hand slowly, slowly, as befits motions, and stroke his hair. Then, his body relaxes under my touch. Taking another hand in his, he pressed to his chest while turning toward me. My heart aches the way he is cradling my hand. No words exchanged, silence, that's all he needed and that's all I can offer.

The moment passed slowly, Rick's breathing seems to settle down. I still wonder what triggered him to have such an emotional outburst. Maybe lake incident, I huffed as I felt that's really silly. Leaning down over him, I gently kiss his temple, his brows, then his cheek. My heart is melting down for him, he is sluggishly finding his way to my heart, breaking all the barriers and that scares me.