His Intense Love

49

Rick

Once again, I have failed her. Jen must be disgusted with me, this part of Rick Adam is dark and dangerous. A part involves creepy criminals, who are thirsty for blood and money, always high on drugs and alcohol. Decency means bullshit to them, and I am not any different from them. A teenage boy grew as a man by stepping into this darkness. I learned here to survive for a living, one mistake and you are dead. However, I don't regret associating with this part of my life but am ashamed to show this sight of me to Jen. I was never fit right to her standards, she is an angel and I am worse than the beast. After this night, I am sure, Jen will never think of me as her future man. Who would like a rotten piece of mud?

"Rick, are you hurting?" I smile half heartedly looking into the most beautiful browns, God, I love her so much.

"So, your Mrs. Karen sent some regards to me?" I avoided her question because I am too embarrassed and too shaken at the moment, I hated the way Rob tried to touch her. I should have never said yes to her request.

"Umm... yeah, said hi" Jen averted her eyes from me, staring at the floor, I knew the conversation about me was not pleasant.

"She really hates me, isn't she?" I chuckle.

"You can't blame her, she loves me. And..." I am too depressed to listen to her reasoning. I cut her abruptly in between.

"Yeah, I deserve all hates" She looks at me lacking words, her eyes holding a distant sadness. After a good pregnant pause, she continues.

"I didn't mean that, Rick. She doesn't know our history, she only knows that you hurt me badly"

"yeah, I did" She looks at me with uncertainty, my heart bleeds, why I can't change the past? Why I had to ruin only one good thing that happened to me? Honestly, Mrs. Karen is not wrong for hating me, I loathe myself more than anyone.

An extended silence passed, a silence filled with so many raw emotions. She took time before she lifted her chin and stare right into my eyes.

"Rick" I dropped my chin.

"Look at me, Rick" her voice hold a demand, tilting my head, I dared to look at her.

"We cannot change our past" She is right, we cannot.

"You are right, we cannot" I lied down on the bed, tired and exhausted. Jen got the hint, I don't want to talk further about it. She gave me a space living me alone in the room, having no clue at all that I don't want space from her, I want her.

I must have dozed off, because I opened my eyes to find Jen nursing my bruises, her face bending over me, her soft finger caressing on my temple. At this moment, I want to take her in my arms and kiss her those half open lips passionately

"Umm... you are awake. Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you, please sleep" I could clearly see that Jen is nervous, she overtalks when she is nervous as I caught her near me.

"No worries, Jen" I assured her in my low tone, my eyes are still heavy.

"I am almost done, won't disturb you, get back to sleep" her voice is so soft like music to my ear, a look of guilt on her face is adorable.

"I am sorry" she blinks her eyelids in confusion, I really want to take her in my arm and kiss her.

"I should have known better, taking you there was not a wise move" Jen shakes her head.

"It was my idea, you don't need to be sorry"

"No, I knew nothing good can come out of it, that exactly happened" An adorable frown from Jen won't pacifying my remorse.