His Intense Love

50

Rick

"You haven't answered me yet" I was almost startled by her soft voice, I couldn't believe I was daydreaming right beside her, I swear I still could feel the taste of her lips on mine. I sighed with pain, the distance between us of just a few inches away physically but it felt like miles. Miles.... And it keeps me wondering, will I ever be able to cross those miles, my stomach turns and gives me a throbbing headache just thinking about it.

"You ask like, you really don't know the answer?" suddenly I am frustrated with Jen, why has she become such an ice queen, unreachable, untouchable, and above all unreadable. I don't understand what's going on in her pretty head. At times I feel her heart is warming up for me and in the next moment, it changes, and her walls became thicker and more guarded. How I wish I could tell her the reason with the same passion I expressed in my imagination. This will not do any favor in our case, the more I show my affection to her, the more she distanced herself from me. On the contrary, if I show her more of my unfairness and ruthlessness, she seems to be drawn to me. I don't understand this pull and push between us, all I care her presence in my life, come what may.

The emotion in her eyes vanishes and she stares at me with a hard look before she announced. "I should have known, this talking would not do any good to us. So, goodnight" she says turning her back to me.

"Yeah, talking is the last thing in my mind when you are on my bed" I brush my fingers over her shoulder, scooting the fabric of her nighty to feel her skin. I thought to tease her a bit, however, my chest is heaving, and my heart is pounding more frantically than I thought it could with the mere anticipation of her tender body close to me. The self-control she requires of me, that I want to give her, it almost beyond the possible.

An audible gasp passes through her lips. Her body stiffens as I planted a small kiss on her bare shoulder.

"Rick"

"Don't blame me, you started a talk of fucking," my finger slowly circles around her body, touching and caressing every inch of her, reminding me of her and our beautiful moment.

"Have you ever thought of our first time" closing the distance between us I pull her to me, her back pressing on my chest, I inhale her hair, taking her fragrance? I am surprised that she has not yet shoved me away. My free hand slowly caresses her stomach, imagining my unborn who didn't have a fate to live. My words hit her hard, her body became rigid and her breath frantic.

"stop" She snapped.

"It was the most beautiful day of my life, I thought you gave yourself to me but in truth"

"I said stop it" she turns, her forehead near slamming against mine,Jen sits up in a flash. I followed her action and forced her to look at me by holding her neck.

"No, I won't. Have you ever wondered, when did you must have conceived, our first night or to the day near the lake where we made love?" Her face paled, and the arch of grief and remembrance washed over her face.

"What are you aiming for Rick? Your words couldn't damage me anymore" she shook her head with a sorrowful smile.

"I don't want to hurt you, Jen." I freed her from my grasp, looking into her eyes, I inhaled sharply in angst.

"I am sure, you conceived on the lake, do you remember that day? I experienced love at that moment, I allowed another soul deep into my heart and soul, breaking my vow to Emily. I loved you with all my heart and soul to you, giving myself over to you ignoring all my hesitance. Emily had warned me before giving up her life not to ever fall in love to avoid this unbearable pain, she was so right" Tears sparkled in Jen's eyes, they are mirrored reflection of my heart, pain. We both are experiencing Excruciating pain, our heartbeats are loud in this agonizing silence. Swallowing hard, I continued.