His Intense Love

46

Jen

While dinner, I could feel Rick's eyes on me the whole time, whenever I look back at him, he averts his eyes immediately. And it makes me restless and awkward. I know he is trying to figure out the reason behind my mood's change, like me he also couldn't trust me fully. Whom to blame for it?

After dinner, Rick helped me for cleaning the table and washing the utensils. Surprisingly, we both did our chores in a peaceful silence but there's the moment we stole few glances at each other, making my heart race rapidly.

Glad, it's bedtime, I walked to my door and got shocked to see Rick following me behind.

"What?" I asked in perplex which earned me his sly expression.

"What?" he mimicked me raising his brow.

"Rick, why are you following me? Do you need anything?" holding the doorknob, I asked him with a tired look.

"You seem to forget that we are sharing the same room" he announced smugly as his eye flashes with wickedness.

"Oh, right we have a purpose to serve" I sarcastically replied with a tight smile, shaking his head, he ignored my comment. Stretching his arm, he presses his hand over mine which is still holding the doorknob. Instantly, I could feel my skin burn by his touch and my heart accelerates. My eyes direct towards him, but he seems unaffected. In a swift of a moment, he opens the door and extended his hand like a gentleman.

"Ladies first" I am still not immune to his touch, disappointment washed over me, I quickly removed my hand from his and walked ahead.

Not even glancing back, I rush to the bathroom for a bath. My mind is racing and my heart is pounding. I feel sweaty, I don't understand the conflicts in my head. Rick has done something special for me that I had never expected. I thought whatever we had, was nothing but all of his skilled act. Yet, what I witnessed in a church has changed my view of him. He had paid attention to all of my nonstop chants, even I noticed he still remember my favorite food and place. I couldn't deny that he cares for me, he took the bullet for saving me. I tried to restrain my heart and be difficult around him as much as I could, I fled away for him when he was in the hospital. I did everything to wipe him off from my life and acted ignorant to all of his efforts. Can't even count, how many times I rejected his feelings and hurt him. However, Rick never gave up and kept trying to mend my heart until he discovered my abortion report. His bitterness and anger are justified, yeah, I did kill his baby. He would never forgive me for that, his family is everything for him, and knowing his child been abandoned by his mother brutally would only make him hate me passionately. This is his way of punishing me, he wants me to bear his kid in my womb so he can snatch it from me cruelly.

Licking a stray tear that rolled down my cheek and onto my lips, I covered my face with my hands to ease the growing pain inside me. Still, I want to give a chance to Rick, not for him but for my own good. I need closure of this draining relat... I don't know what I should call it, but I want to put a stop to this strange feeling which is very much connecting me to Rick. The inevitable end. At the same time, I feel that I would lose everything in the process, once again. Desperately, I need my pills to numb my world.

After taking the longest shower I stepped out, Rick is lying down on the bed, he stretches himself, changing the positions, while his muscle tightens and a tick appears in his jaw.

"You look worn out" Rick sighed petulantly, pressing back his shoulders as if they are aching.

"Being smashed at the fight last night and then driving the fucking car for the whole day, what could it make you? Yes, I am exhausted." Rick replied somewhat crudely, I am in no mood to be tampered with.