Without Me || Jikook

19. It's never too late

A long silence fell across the room.

Hoseok watched Jungkook massage his head and huff under his breath. He thought it'd be better if he get up and make coffee for him; at least then his condition won't get worse. His hair was still wet too.

Jungkook sniffed and wiped his eyes with a tissue.

How reckless,

Coming all this way in the cold breeze without drying his hair after the shower. Did he forget it's autumn now? Hoseok sighed and shook his head. He didn't blame him because after all, Jungkook was right. He wasn't Jungkook, the Jungkook Hoseok knew anymore so maybe that's why he didn't care if he was sick or unhealthy anymore.

But Jungkook didn't even smell the same.

He smelled.. feminine.

It wasn't disgusting, but it bothered Hosoek somehow. Specially when he knew exactly whose scent it was.

Were they having sex? Hoseok hated to question that so he considered to focus on Jungkook.

Without another second to waste, Hoseok got up, allowing Jungkook rest over the sofa and walked towards the kitchen to make coffee.

Jungkook's eyes felt heavy, laying over the sofa like a dead body. He tried to relax till Hoseok make a cup of coffee for him. Luckily, the heater was on and Jungkook was glad he slowly started to feel warm.

However, about thirty minutes passed and The two men were sitting in the same area in the living room. Jungkook felt warmer as he drank the hot coffee, resting his mind for a little bit, allowing it relax through the deep silence.

Hosoek was in his own thoughts.

Hoseok knew Jungkook since college when they used to study together. They were even friends then. They knew each other very well so Jungkook didn't need to mention how sensitive he was emotionly; It had always been like a bad habit of Jungkook to overthink, specially when he was pressured by anything, even work. But he never let it take over him and lead him make such wrong decisions so it was somehow scary how Joohyun could make him do so.

A slow smile appeared on Hoseok's lip looking at Jungkook holding his cup of coffee like a baby as his hands were covered with his hoodie's sleeves.

But Jungkook was precious to him no matter what.

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"Kooks?" Hoseok called softly.

Jungkook hummed softly in response.

"I'm glad you're here and talked about it with me. I'm glad you still trust me, despite what i did. but.. why don't you just face Jimin and talk to him to fix this? I know it's too messed up but He deserves to hear all these things from you in order to forgive you and give you a chance." Hoseok stated, "You don't want to lose him, do you?"

"I already did lose him." Jungkook sighed.

"No Jungkook." Hoseok responded immediately, "You still didn't. You still have a chance, even if it was low chance but you still have it. So don't lose it; Kooks, It's never too late." Hosoek mentioned. "You don't want to live the way you are living right now. Think again, you don't want to continue be someone you don't want to be. You want Jimin back."

"Why lie," Jungkook sighed again. "I Can't face him. How can i, knowing exactly the awful thing i did to him. Imagine it. I'm ashamed and it's not easy. The thought of it even makes my whole body tremble.. Or, just look at me again, do you think i can face him now, looking like this?"

Hoseok pursed his lips thinking and shook his head to agree then sighed in disappointment.

"Right," Jungkook carried on explaining, "I don't want to live like this anymore because I'm dying from the inside everyday like how it's obvious. but i also need the opportunity to help myself be at a place where i can at least face him." He breathed, "It's hard. I'm disgusted with myself now and i can't find the gut to do it. But trust me everyday i want to run back to him and beg on my knees for him to forgive me. I would if he ask me, but what if he hates me too much to even look at me. I'm scared.. what if he pushes me away or slap me, what if he says he doesn't want me anymore? What if he looks at me and feel disgusted just like how i do when i look at myself?"