Without Me || Jikook

6. Better off

Jimin stood in front of his house's door, taking longer than it takes to unlock a doorlock since his visual were blur. Besides that, it was dark at that time.

He let out a frustrated sigh after failing once again, before he huffed and tried until he could open the door and finally enter his house where it was dim and a little cold.

Jimin began to unbutton his suit as he closed the door, and slid it out, tossing it over the couch in the living room, then started to open the sleeve buttons of the casual shirt.

He rolled his sleeves up, since he was too tired to go upstairs and change to something comfortable.

Jimin didn't want to admit his eyes were barely open and he was physically tired, so without thinking of switching the lights on or instead of going to sleep, he decided to drink more until he sleeps on one of these couches.

Jimin's gaze moved towards the kitchen and he tried reach the kitchen counter to lean on it and not fall as he walked unsteadily and opened the first button of his shirt.

"Baby you're home!"

Jimin paused when that voice played in his head. His slightly red eyes abruptly opened as he was breathing a little heavier from the affect of alcohol.

Jungkook got up the couch with a wide smile and opened his arms hugging Jimin.

Jimin put his arms around Jungkook's neck when Jungkook hugged him close, both smiling at eachother as Jimin enjoyed his boyfriend's warm body against his.

Jungkook took a moment and caressed Jimin's hair. "aw, is my baby tired?"

The sound of his soft whispers messed with his head, Jimin's expression started to change. He wanted to cry.

The older nuzzled his face in Jungkook's neck and nodded, letting the younger carry him in a bridal style upstairs to his bedroom.

"I'll cuddle you until we sleep together."

Jimin's eyes tightened shut and with a sharp breath he opened them, shaking his head and started rubbig his forehead.

Not like he could help control those memories.

Jimin had a long amazing night there, so he hissed as he continued rubbing his forehead a little more, not wanting to admit he was feeling Jungkook's empty place now because he didn't think he wanted to break down and find himself on the cold floor in the morning.

But once he decided to go upstairs and sleep instead, he remembered here's another night that he doesn't have Jungkook to cuddle him to sleep.

And to Jimin, Jungkook's warmth couldn't be compared to the blanket. 

There the designer became frustrated again. He couldn't help but realize how much of an hell those four weeks were for him without feeling Jungkook.

Or even seeing him for once, as the person he knew.

As his boyfriend.

Jimin breathed again, mind suddenly racing with memories he could no longer suppress, and damn,

Memories hit different at nights.

Specially now that there was nothing but more darkness than lights, a little cold and silence. Jimin walked and entered the kitchen, grabbing four bottles of already opened soju from the fridge, not caring if he was already drunk because of the amount of glasses of wine he drank with Seulgi earlier. He however, reached out for a glass and walked out to settle on the couch.

Now that the pain of losing Jungkook returned to hurt him, Jimin decided to drink to the point he feel numb and forget even about his own existence. Because he knew his system can barely handle more alcohol and he'd pass out or worse.