Without Me || Jikook

30. The one

The Next Evening.

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"Uh Jiminie," Hoseok sighed. Looking down at the cup of tea he was making, stringing the sugar. "I don't know what to say. He's so obsessed with me that honestly, it's not healthy. But i can't make him love me less. It's hard when I'm so in love with him too."

A soft sigh of disappointment escaped Hoseok's lips; He was totally unhappy inside, Yet, venting to his best friend that stood leaning against the counter and listened to him, felt reliving. To know he could let things out to someone without getting a single judgment. Jimin was so understanding, always. That's why Hoseok wasn't afraid to let things out about his feelings and situation.

Hoseok however, held the small tray with the cup of tea in and walked out of the kitchen, straight towards the living room. And Jimin following him behind; until both sat in the living room. Hoseok placed the tray on the table and handed Jimin his cup of tea before he sat across from him and when few seconds passed, he continued to say,

"It's so stupid that we love each other this much and suffering, when we don't know so much about each other." Hoseok said, with so many different unhappy expression that showed how disappointed he was with himself. "Because why can't we understand each other?"

"And, I forgot my limits that night," He added after a short silence. "Because i couldn't see Yoongi so sad like that. But Jaewon caught us. Me being too close to his boyfriend as if i was trying to kiss him. And the worst is, I come up with a stupid lie. Jaewon felt bad when i said he was busy with homework and Yoongi was alone. He felt like he wasn't giving his boyfriend enough attention. So he apologized to him in front of me, giving him the bouquet with so much care and love in his expression. Making me feel so awful about myself." Hoseok groaned, resting his elbows on his thighs and grabbed his hair, "I'm the worst."

When Hoseok concluded with a deep sigh after, Jimin finished taking a sip of his hot tea and let out a exhale under his breath to what Hoseok said. "Well Hoseok," He looked at him and tightened his mouth into a thin line, "You know you should tell Jaewon about your and Yoongi's feelings. Because you don't want him to figure it out himself."

"I know. But it's harder than you think it is."

"Of course i know how hard it is. But letting him figure it out himself will be harder for both of you. He might won't trust you again. And You don't wanna lose Jaewon because you weren't brave enough to tell him the truth, do you? Just imagine with me, how sad he'd be once he figure it out himself. It'll be harder for him to forgot about it in the future. And there will be no trust, i promise you."

The younger immediately dropped his head, his gaze shifted to nothing in particular. And the short silent with that let Jimin take another sip of his warm tea and just after he finished half of it, Jimin felt like asking a question.

"Did you talk to him after that night? Or maybe met him?"

"I called him, yesterday morning. I wish i didn't but i had to. Asking him if we could watch a movie since he really wanted to. But he refused because he was still mad at me. He started to argue with me again. Telling me nonsense."

"Like what?"

"You love Jimin more than me. You care about him more." Hoseok let out a chuckle. "He made me so frustrated again. I told him Jimin is my very close best friend and he means so much to me. So of course i care. But i felt bad again because he became mad at me again."

"But you weren't wrong about a thing though."

Hoseok nodded slowly. "I wasn't. I'm always honest with him. So i hate that he makes me this way. Also he said he wants to meet you but i said you're busy. There's no need to."