Untangled

Chapter 20

Listen to See you again by Charlie Puth ft. Wiz Khalifa for this chapter.

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He's gone.

The words kept resounding in my ears. For a while, I lost touch with reality.
No! This could not be happening.

Jordan was gone?

"No,no,no. That's a lie."I said shaking my head vigorously as my voice cracked. My heart was pacing wildly in my chest and I felt a sharp pain seering through my chest.

"What do you mean by you lost him?"
I asked and looked back up at the doctor who looked lost for words.

"His heart stopped beating before we could get the bullet out. The shock from the impact of the gunshot made him suffer a cardiac arrest. We tried our best. I'm sorry."He said and then looked away.

"No,no no, tell me this a dream-"I said and dropped to the tiled floor as tears blurred my vision. Slowly,they made way down my cheeks. My jaws clenched tightly and I felt like my lungs were giving up on me. I started panting fast because I could not breath properly.

Gregory pulled me up from the floor. I shrugged his hands off and dashed off making way towards the theatre room.

The nurses ran after me trying to stop me. I kicked open the theatre room and moved towards the bed that Jordan was lying on.

My hands trembled when I saw that he was already covered with a light white sheet.

"No,no,no. Don't leave me Jordan." I struggled with the nurses as they tried to restrain me. The doctor signalled for them to leave me.

My heart dropped to my stomach when I removed the sheet that was covering Jordan.

There he lay lifeless. He was gone. Indeed gone. His face and lips had turned pale.

I opened my mouth but I could not get the words out. Then the dam broke. I held on to his leg and sobbed my heart out. We were laughing together one minute and he was gone the next moment?

My friend was gone.

Forever.

How was I going to live with that for the rest of my life?

He was my confidante. Something close to a best friend.

"Jordan don't give up on me. Please come back."I whispered as if he would jump back to life miraculously. I could not hold back my tears.

The reality hit me hard this time.
He was gone. Forever.

"That's enough Jason."Gregory held me up and took me out of the room.

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"Jason."Britney said as soon as she set eyes on me. I looked like a wreck. Gregory had just dropped me off at home. As soon as I walked in through the front door, Britney was the first person to see me.

I looked down on the marble floor unable to meet her gaze. I felt very guilty because I had lashed out at her when she wanted to talk to me earlier and I refused to grant her audience.

"He's gone."I said and fell to my knees sobbing and heaving heavily.

"Who's gone? Talk to me."Britney said and rubbed my back slowly in an attempt to comfort me.

"Jordan's dead. He got shot when we were on an operation late last night. "
I clutched my chest. I could not take it anymore. I had never felt this kind of pain.

"Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry."Britney said and started sobbing. She hugged and continued rubbing my back.

"What's wrong?"I glanced up to see my mother hovering over us. I flinched when she attempted to touch my shoulder.

I got up and turned my back ready to get out of the room.

"Talk to me Jason."She said. I could sense the sadness in her voice.

" I don't want to talk to you."I retorted and stormed right out.

I needed to go somewhere. I needed to clear my head and organise my thoughts. I was really going crazy.

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I was drinking my livers out. I just needed something to get me out of reality. I did not want to feel the pain anymore.I signalled the bar attendant to bring me more shots.

"You're doing your livers no good by drinking excessively. "

I froze when I heard a voice speak. It sounded so familiar. I could smell her fruity body splash that lingered in the air.

Cassandra.

"Go away."I continued drinking ignoring the fact that she was still standing there. She grabbed a barstool by me and sat down.

"I heard what happened. I'm so sorry. I know you guys were pretty close."She continued.

I shut my eyes tightly and by-passing all the self restraint I had left, I slammed the glass to the floor.

Some of the bar attendants and the people that were around stared at me with questioning looks but I could not care less. I needed to channel the pain into something because I was hurting badly.

I heard Cassandra muttering a few apologies to the bar attendants. I continued drinking like I did not just cause a scene in the bar.

"You need to talk to someone Jason. Let it out. Keeping it all to yourself will not help at all."

I ignored her and continued drinking. My phone continuously rang and buzzed but I did not bother to check my phone.

I felt a light brush on top of my hand. Her eyes were pleading with me. I didn't want to look vulnerable in her eyes.

"Talk to me. Please."She continued. And then I went into an outburst.

" He's gone. And it hurts so bad."I said and she pulled me into an embrace.

"I know it hurts and I'm so sorry. But it'll all be fine."She said and rubbed my back. She ran her fingers through my hair. I felt a little relaxed.

"But it-"I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn't form any words.

"Shhh. It's okay. Everything will be alright."

"Now let's go. You've had enough alcohol for one night.

She held my hand and dragged me from the bar.

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This chapter was a very emotional one for me to write.
Losing a loved one is not a pleasant experience.

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