Destiel One Shots

The angel who saved me.

Trigger warning: suicide
(No one dies)

I put down the gun on my bedside table and look around the room. I want to take in all the things that I will lose when I go. But I not sad about it, I'm happy. I'm happy that I lived the life that I had. I'm happy about the bunker. I'm happy with my lifestyle.

But I'm not happy with life, itself. The lifestyle I live is good. I help people and it makes me happy. But I'm tired of it all. I've died and came back way too many times, it was time I go for good. I wasn't happy about life.

It's mostly the fact that I've lost everyone. I lost my parents, I lost my brother way too many times for it to be normal, but most of all I lost the will to carry on. I just didn't see the point. What was so good about my life? Nothing, really.

I rip out a piece of paper from one of the books laying around and start scribbling on it.

Sam,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry but I couldn't carry on.
You probably saw it in my eyes, how done I was.
But don't worry, I'm in a better place.
I'll watch over you.
I love you Sammy.
Dean.

I fold the paper and put it down on my pillow. One last thing had to be done.

I sat on my bed and started,

"Cas, I know you're probably busy with your Angel crap, but I wanted to say goodbye. You're probably not even listening but I couldn't go without saying this. I don't even know if you're alive, to be honest. We haven't heard a word from you for about 2 weeks now. But I'm not doing this to bitch about it. I wanted you to know that I'm grateful for everything you have done for me. Thank you for helping me and Sam, and please, for the love of God, look after him. Don't let him do anything stupid. Good bye Cas, I... I love you."

I opened my eyes and looked at the gun. I took it in my hands and opened my mouth. I was ready. I was going to do this, I wanted to do this for a long time. It's now or never. I chose now.

I put the gun in my mouth and close my eyes. It's going to be all okay soon. My hands were shaking as I start pressing the trigger.

I was so close, just press it a little harder...

Just as I was about to press it, I felt a hand on mine. I opened my eyes to find Cas looking back at me.

I take the gun out of my mouth. "Cas, just leave me alone. I'm ready to die. Just accept my choices," I say as a single tear runs down my cheek.

"Okay, Dean. But before you do, I wanted you to know something." Cas starts, but doesn't finish. Instead, he gently tilted my head up with his hand and gently kissed me.

"Cas..." I whisper as we pull away, "I'm..."

"It's okay, I'll leave you now. I didn't want you to die without knowing how I feel, if you want to die I respect your choices," Cas says and turns his back to me.

He starts to walk away but I grab his wrist before he could leave. "Cas? Don't go, please."

"Why, Dean? I thought you're going to-"

"That... That can wait..." I say as I pull him down to sit next to me on my bed.

"Okay, what do you wish to talk about?" Cas says while looking into my eyes.

"Why would you just let me go? I mean, I thought you're going to put up a fight..." I say, I was kind of surprised.

"As I said, I respect your choices. I don't agree with them but I know that if you made up your mind there's no turning back for you. Dean, did you mean it when you said you love me?"

"I... I did. I felt like leaving without telling you would be hard. I had to get it off my chest." I say and reach to Cas's hand that is resting on his thigh. I squeeze it and he gives me a little smile in return.

"Well, I love you too," Cas says, "and I don't really want you to leave, Dean. I haven't been around lately but I've been watching over you, listening to your prayers. I promise I'll be around more if you give me the chance,"

He takes the gun out of my hand and puts it down on my bedside table. I look into his deep blue eyes and smile.

"Okay,"