The Contract That saved my Brother but not me

Chapter 31: I still want him

I take off my shoes and drop to bed. Why is everyone now pregnant and getting married?

Why couldn't I be having Ian's baby? He never told me he wanted one.

Was he trying to forget about me with her? Has he forgotten me?
Have I forgotten him too?
I feel angry he's with Cassy. But I guess he is happier that way.

"Alex,"

I quickly sit and see Ian at my door.

"I am not sorry because you are not my wife anymore. But I never meant to be intimate with Cassy and especially have a kid with her. I thought that maybe Johnny or Melissa or even my dad told you about all of this."

I say no but that I figured that out at the hospital. I saw her ring.

"I like to be a dad, hopefully not like my dad, but I like the idea. I know Cassy is thrilled but we both don't want to get married,"

"Then?" I ask, "then why?"

Ian chuckles, "the same reason why your brother is marrying my sister. It's the only right thing to do. It's better for the kid and I think Cassy will be a great mom and wife."

"I wasn't right?" I stand in front of him. "I wasn't a good wife and I was surely not going to be a good mom."

Ian says no, "you were sick and I ruined what we had left over."

"Why Cassy?"

"I don't know! It just happened!"

"So she was good? On bed? You-your thing- actually went all the way?"

Ian looks confused. "why are you asking that?"

I push him, "just tell me! Was she good? Did she satisfy you?"

"Yes! She did!" he exclaims.

I thought I could only make him happy. I begin to cry. "So she is better? You love her?"

Ian cups my face. I see some tears on his cheek. "how can she be better when the only girl I love is you? It was just sex nothing else."

"but you liked it!"

"Yes but I didn't love it. I was only sexually satisfied not spiritually and emotional passionately satisfied. You made feel all those things,"

"Alex, I don't know about you, but I still love you and want you. I've been okay but it hasn't been easy."

"I don't know what I feel anymore but I know that I am still hurt because of what you did," I whimper.

"And I am so sorry for that," Ian says, "I know I was in full control of the situation and shouldn't have blame on the drinks but I feel regret. Do you know why?"

"why?"

He gets closer to me. "Because I realize that I can only be with you and feel so much pleasure, happiness, and love. The girl at the bar," he chuckles, "I didn't even penetrate her. We both passed out."

"How do I know that you aren't lying?" I ask.
"She told me a couple of days ago by phone and I can show you," his lips met mine and show me all his emotions. I stay there taking in his action.

His lips are so soft and delicate. I feel his hands hug my hips and pushing me towards him.

I kiss him back. I wrap my arms around his neck and put more pressure on our lips. I lick his tongue then his upper lip. I pull away, "we should stop."

He smirks, "We should but we won't."

Ian carries me, cupping my back bottom with his hands.

"Ian" I whisper.