Different (Kaisoo Fanfic)

Time to slap authornim

Heeey guys.
It's currently 2am and I'm laid here wondering how on earth I'm going to save this fic, so I just wanted to get a little bit off my chest.

Bottom line is- I suck. I don't even think it's writer's block anymore but instead my brain has just turned to mush. I've ran out of excuses as to why I haven't updated for months but I've basically just become a shitty writer and it makes me wanna cry because I read so many great fanfics, why can't I just be that good? But literally everything I write is absolute PANTS.

Truthfully I have an almost finished chapter just sat in my drafts, but I can't bring myself to wrap it up and just publish it because it's so crappy, I'd be sinning if I let you guys read it, seriously. I don't know where my half decent writing skills have gone but like, someone please return them to me if you find them because authornim is mucho upsetto.

Aside from that, it's been so long now that I've lost touch with my characters. Idk the ins and outs of their personalities anymore, and it's so hard to write kaisoo when I can't even remember what their relationship was like. Character development is such a big thing and I think it's what truly makes a story great. I mean, I get that my Kyungsoo is an asshole and Jongin is a wimp, but this has to change at some point and it was beginning to, I'm sure. But the little details are incredibly hard to capture- how would he feel about this? What would he say to that? Questions like these have to be considered when you're writing and frankly I don't know the answers anymore. I've tried to reread my own story but it's almost impossible to stop skimming. It really sucks.

So I'm kinda stuck because like, I so badly want to update for you guys and for myself too, but where did the skills and the touch go?? Literally I'm even struggling to write this a/n. Sigh.

But I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to put this fic on hiatus for a little (possibly a long) while before I find those skills again. I don't want to leave you guys with some crappy half assed story that a two year old could've written. So to try and recover some motivation, ideas and slight skill, I think I'll just write some short one shots and drabbles or something to practise again. I'm not saying that any of them will be published, but I'll keep going and trying different prompts until I can return to the fics I have at the moment.

Just to settle your minds though, I'm not at all planning on discontinuing Different. It really means too much to me to let it go and I love Different just as much as you guys seem to, which is also why I'm so determined to rediscover the mild humour and entertainment that the past me once possessed *sniffles* I also have a very long list of pending ideas which must be put into words at some point.

Most of all, I'm so incredibly sorry for making you people wait so long and giving you false hopes. I'm a suckish authornim, I know. You may throw eggs at me if you wish.

Equally as important- thank you so much to everyone who stayed with me and tolerated my laziness/'depression'/shittiness and those who continue to support me and Different. Also, thank you to the new readers who still comment and vote on my story- it baffles me how I can not update for months and still have a regular mountain of notifications when I open Wattpad.

You guys really are the best. I'm not joking when I say I love you.❤️

This a/n is so long I'm sorry guys but this is my hearteu right now