You're My Last Hope (Under Edit)

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

When I finish my story, I'm in tears and Anthony is speechless.

"Wow Kel....I'm sorry....I thought it was bad with Annabeth but with you....And you've held it in so long....No wonder you cut..." The last part seemed to mainly be to himself. I looked down and rubbed the back of my neck, a nervous habit of mine. I shrug.

"I-I-I g-gue-ss.." Anthony sighs and hugs me, but this time I return it. I really needed a hug right now.

"And I don't want the world to see me

'cause I don't think that they'd understand

when everything's meant to be broken

I just want you to know who I am.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

or the moment of truth in your lies.

When everything feels like the movies

yea you bleed just to know you're alive."

I relax into Anthony's hug, closing my eyes and listening to Kellin sing Iris. I always liked this song. The original version is good, but I like Sleeping With Sirens cover better. I think it was Kellin's voice in it that made me love it more.

"Hey Kel?" I look up at Anthony. He sighs.

"You know you can come to me and talk to me right?" I look down and nod. But it was a lie. I didn't know if I could. I felt like I was annoying him when I told him about Max. I know that, if I told him about Dad or Mom or any of my problems, I'd feel like he wanted me to leave him alone. It took everything in me not to run away from him when we were talking about Max.

"Kellin I'm not kidding. You don't annoy me, and I know you think you do." My head snaps up.

"H-how'd you k-know th-at?" I ask, still sniffing a bit from our conversation about Max. He shrugs.

"I've always been able to read people's eyes. When I look into them, I can read them easily. I can tell what they're thinking or how they're felling. Sometimes, I can tell things about people's lives." I felt panic rush through my body when he said that.

"W-what did you s-see with m-me?" He sighs and looks at me in the eyes. It took everything in me to keep my eyes on his and not look down.

"Pain. A lot of pain. That's all I can see. Just pain and depression and sadness. I can't tell anything about your past, except you hated it and wished it was different. Someone hurt you, and because of it you have major trust issues. You're depressed and want nothing more to die. You care so much for people, but you always feel rejected. You want to let people in, but it's that same fear of rejection that keeps you from doing it." I sat there, shocked, for a minute.

"Y-you got all that from my eyes?" He nodded. I look down. That was exactly how I felt. And he was right. I hated my past and wished it could be changed. But it couldn't. It was my past, I had to live with it until it killed me. Which, by the looks of it, could be very soon. Again, he was right. I wanted nothing more than to die. It scared me that he knew every thing that he did; he could blackmail me big time with all of that. But would he? I looked up at his eyes, trying to read them like he did mine. There was nothing. I couldn't see anything. It was like he learned how to hide all his emotions.

"Come on. We need to find Taylor and Emily." he said, letting me go from his hug and walking off. I quickly scrambled up and followed after him. I had to jog to keep up with him. His legs were so long. One of his steps took three from me.

"I see them. They're over there." he said, pointing somewhere. He started walking off, making me run to catch up. I grabbed onto his shirt to keep up with him. He looked back at me, probably because I pulled on his shirt.

"Slow down. Not everyone has long legs like you." I said, annoyed and out of breath. He laughs.

"Would you like me to carry you?" I shake my head.

"No." I mumble. He grabbed my hand, starting to walk off again, going a bit slower for me. I was glad he had a strong grip on my hand because without it, I would've lost him in the crowd.

"Anthony! Kellin! Where'd you guys go?" Taylor asked when we found them. Anthony shrugged.

"We lost you when you ran off." It wasn't a lie, but wasn't the exact truth. Taylor nodded and Emily walked over to Anthony, leaning up against him and rubbing his arm.

"I was worried." He rolled his eyes.

"Like you guys could lose us. I'm like 6'2 and Kellin's maybe 5'6. It's not hard to spot us in a crowd." Emily wrinkles up her nose and whispers something to Anthony. All I heard was "don't really like", but that was enough to convince me she was talking about me. I looked down and let go of his hand. I didn'y need it anymore. We found them. I wouldn't lose them. Taylor looks at me and smiles.

"Look I got a new bracelet!" He shows me his new Sleeping With Sirens bracelet that was already on his wrist. I faked a smile and nodded.

"I like it. Look I've got a Pierce The Veil one." I said, rolling up my sleeve enough for him to see it. I was glad that I hadn't cut on my wrist. If I did, he'd see them. They were all on my upper arm instead. He takes my wrist and looks at it.

"Dude that's so cool! Where'd you get it?" I laugh.

"Hot Topic. You want it?" He looks up at me.

"You'd let me have it?"

"Sure. I have more at home." I say, pulling my wrist back and taking it off, handing it to him. "You take it." He smiles and takes it, slipping it on.

"Thanks Kellin." he says, leaning forward to hug me. I hug back, still partly needing a hug.

"Come on guys let's go back to the concert. It only has thirty more minutes." Anthony said from over his shoulder. Emily was dragging him back to the crowd. Taylor grabs my hand and walks with me back to the crowd with Emily and Anthony. I didn't mind him holding my hand. I didn't want to get lost in this crowd. People may laugh at the fact that I'm lost. Or they may push me around. I shake my head to clear the thoughts. I didn't want to think about that.

"Remember when they said that what we want could never be done?

Well look who's laughing now.

We'll do what we want to.

Said we'll do what we want to

yeah, yeah, yeah."

"I love this song!" Taylor yells, turning around to face me. I smile.

"So do I. It's great." Taylor nods and starts jumping around and dancing. Anthony looks at him and smiles, turning back to watch Kellin sing. I felt someone run into me.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" a girl says. I look down a bit and see a girl, around my age, with bright, blue green eyes and layered hair, black on the top and rainbow on the bottom. She had a nose stud, which looked adorable on her. I smile a bit.

"It's fine." She smiles back, then looks me up and down. I felt like cowering into a corner. She was judging, I could tell. I heard her giggle.

"You're kinda cute." I look down, blushing a bit. Girls never say that to me. Especially girls as pretty as her. I doubt if she really meant it.

"Thanks." I mutter, making her smirk.

"Shy?" I shrug. I guess I was shy. I had social anxiety. A pretty bad case of it that is. I didn't want to go to a doctor about it though. I hated doctors. Mom made me go though. Apparently, I had a case that was close to an twenty-eight year old's case. She giggles.

"I'm Annaleigh. But call me Anna. Annaleigh sounds too fancy." she says, wrinkling her nose. I nod.

"Kellin." She smiles.

"Your name's Kellin? Like Kellin Quinn?" I nod, trying to avoid eye contact. She smiles.

"It was nice to met you Kellin. I hope I can see you again." I nod.

"Yea. Me too." She skips off to join some friends, giggling then looking back at me, waving and smiling. I try my best to smile and give a small wave back. She giggles again and turn back to her friends, me turning back to the stage. I felt someone elbow my side and look up to see Anthony smirking.

"You should go talk to her." I quickly shake my head. He frowns.

"Why not? She seems into you. What have you got to lose?" I shrug.

'What's left of my self confidence when she laughs in my face and turns me down.' my mind answers for me.

"Dude she was totally checking you out." Taylor says, winking at me. I shrug.

"So?" Taylor rolls his eyes.

"Sooooo...Go talk to her!" I quickly shake my head, panic filling my mind. I didn't want to talk to her. Well I did but...I'd make myself look stupid. Then her interest in me (if there was even any at all) would be gone. Taylor rolls his eyes.

"Here, I'll go get her number for you." he says, turning around and walking off.

"No wait don't!" I try to grab his hand before he runs off, but he does before I can catch him. I know there's no way I'd be able to stop him. My mouth went dry and my hands started to shake. I look down, taking deep breaths and trying to keep my eyes off the girl, Anna. I couldn't help but to look up at her though. She was looking at me, giggling still. My eyes quickly dart down when they catch hers. I didn't look up after that. After a few moments, Taylor comes back and hands me a piece on paper.

"Here." is all he says, handing it to me. All that was on it was her number, along with a little note.

"Call me sometime, okay cutie? xx ;)"