You're My Last Hope (Under Edit)

Chapter 47

Chapter 47

Taylor and I have been laying in bed for maybe thirty minutes now. He was almost asleep, probably because I kept petting his hair. I couldn't get my mind to shut off.

The day mom died, the day I spent the night here, why didn't I see the burns and bruises on Anthony's stomach? Did he change so fast I didn't notice? Or did he start after that day? No, that wasn't it. Some of them were old. I could tell. Maybe he.....Maybe he didn't do it on his sides and back? I don't think that was it. I guess the only good reasoning was makeup. He covered them with makeup. That's what mom did.

Anna. What was I feeling with Anna? I didn't know how I felt about her. I really like her, but that's all I knew. She made me feel safe. Is that wrong? Was it bad she made me feel like that? What would've happened if Cody hadn't ran in? Would we have kissed? I wish he hadn't done that. Then I would know for sure. I hope she would've kissed me.

What's happened with dad? Was I finally safe? No one has told me anything about him. It scares me. I mean, I know I'm safe here, but I don't feel like it. I'm not sure if I'll ever feel safe again. I lost that feeling long ago and now only feel it on certain times. I wish Max would wake up. I really miss him. If he'd come back, I wouldn't be alone. I'd have my big brother. The doctors say that he's most likely not going to wake up; he might not have his memories when he does. I'm not sure if that's good or bad though. I don't want him to remember what dad did to us, but I want him to remember me. I miss him so much. I still can't wrap my mind around what happened. All I can ever seem to remember is seeing him laying there with a huge cut on his wrist. It was so bloody....Part of the reason I don't like blood now is because it brings back memories. I mean, if it's my blood that I brought out, its okay. Any other time I get really light headed. I just didn't understand why he had to do it. It's scared me badly.

I close my eyes a force my tears back.

'No. No crying now. You've cried way too much. You can't cry. That makes you look weaker.' I do my best to push out the memories. I had to dig my fingernails into my hand to do that though. I ended up drawing blood, but it didn't bother me. I'd be fine. A bit of blood has never hurt me. Well, a bit hasn't.

What would it be like? I mean, the foster home. What would the foster home be like? I was scared to know. Why'd it have to be in Georgia? I thought they would find someone in Baltimore to take me in. I guess I was wrong. I didn't wan to go though. I wanted to stay here with Anna and Anthony and Taylor and Cody. And why wasn't I just staying with Uncle Dave? Had something happened to him? Why hadn't he move down here? I hope everything was okay. I'm sure it was. Someone would've told me if it wasn't, right?

"Hey Kellin? Taylor? You guys okay?" Cody asked while peaking his head through the door. I nodded and Taylor made a tiny, "Hmm," nose. Cody opened the door fully and stepped into the room. I closed my eyes and winced as the light poured in. My head started hurting again, but it wasn't to bad. Nothing I couldn't handle. He walked over to Taylor and shook his shoulder softly.

"Hey. Hey Tay. Haha that rhymed. Anyways, come on. Both of you. Anthony made pasta dinner and it looks really good." Taylor sits up and looks at him wide eyed.

"Anth made dinner?" Before Cody could answer him he jumped up and ran out of the room. Cody laughed and put his hands in his pockets. I slowly started to sit up. I had to bit my lip to stop from whimpering. My back hurt badly and so did my legs. I knew the pain would only last for another day or two though. I looked up at Cody, hoping for some kind of help. I knew I wouldn't be able to walk downstairs without some help. He rocked back and forth on his heals and laughs.

"If Anthony is as good at cooking as he is at kissing then he'll be amazing." Cody mumbled to himself. I still heard him though. He didn't notice that I heard. I'm guessing he was going off the day of the attempt and how they kissed and all...

"Oh you probably need help getting up and all. Yea Anth's mom said something about how you'd legs were something and that something made it hard for you to walk or something. Um...I don't know. Ask her. I'm gonna get Anthony and he'll carry you down, I would but I could hurt you further with my amazing mussels." he said while flexing and flashing me a smirk. I smile a bit and roll my eyes. Cody was so cocky that it was funny. I mean, he wasn't cocky in a bad way. It was in a good way. In a way that makes you laugh.

Cody ran downstairs and, after a few minutes, Anthony was at the bedside. I smiled up at him. He smiled back and leand down to hug me.

"Hey buddy. How are you feeling?" I shrugged and leaned closer to him.

"Alright I guess. My head still hurts. And so does my back and legs. But I'll be fine." Anthony slowly nods and bites his bottom lip, looking down at me and letting me out his grip. I wish he didn't. I liked Anthony's hugs.

"Would it hurt if I picked you up?" I shrug again. It probably would hurt, but I didn't really care. It wouldn't matter. It's not like I wasn't used to pain.

Anthony took my shrug as a no. He carefully placed one arm under my knees and the other on my back. I kinda wished that he would put his arms somewhere else, but I knew he was doing his best not to hurt me. I bit my lip and wrapped my arms around his neck. He looked down at me with worry filled eyes.  I shook my head and did my best to smile at him.

"I'm fine. Don't worry." He shook his head.

"No. No it's not that. Kellin you're....You're way too light. How much do you weigh?" I shrug and look down shyly.

"I don't know....ninety pounds? Maybe one hundred?"

'That's too much. You should weigh less. Way less.' Anthony frowned at me and shook his head again.

"Keillen that's bellow average....You really should try to eat more often. You feel like you barely weigh a pound. Try to eat more?" I shrug again and put my head on his chest.

"It wouldn't do anything. I'd just throw it up." He looked at me worried.

"Are you bulimic?" I shrug once more and mumble out an, "I guess." I didn't want to talk about it really. All I knew is that, when I tried to eat, it didn't stay down for long. It started when I was around fifteen and hasn't stopped since. It used to worry mom. I never really cared about it. Anthony sighed and start downstairs. I felt bad for making him carry me. I felt embarrassed that he had to. I guess I don't have much of a choice though. I never had much of a choice. I guess that's just how my life worked.

When we got downstairs, Anthony sat me down in a chair at their dinner table. Cody, Anna and Taylor were already there. Anthony had sat me beside Anna and an empty chair that he soon occupied. He had already put some pasta on my plate. It looked good I guess. I didn't really have much of an appetite. I ate a bit though, partly because I didn't want to be rude and partly because Anna had made me. It was really good though. Anthony was a pretty good cook. I wasn't sure where Anthony's parents were at right now but it didn't really bother me. Taylor was in the middle of telling a story about something that happened in school when someone knocked on the door. Anthony stood up.

"I'll get it." He walked out and into the living room. Taylor continued with his story.

"So then one of the teachers came in during the middle of this and he just looked around and shook his head and was like-" He was cut off mid sentence by a deep voice.

"Kellin Austins? May we ask you a few questions?"