You're My Last Hope (Under Edit)

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

I drop my razor onto the ground, shaking from the blood loss. I'm not sure how many new cuts I made; I lost count on twenty five. I let my tears fall onto the counter, joining the blood that now stained it. I carefully turn on the sink, washing off my cuts and the blood of the counter. I couldn't be alone anymore, my mind was starting to take over; this time cutting wasn't enough to make them stay away. I needed someone to be there for me, but I knew no one would be. Anthony and Taylor were probably asleep by now. Katie wouldn't care enough to answer. Mom-mom was gone. There was no one I could call. But then I remembered, there was a new number in my phone; I had Anna's number. I knew she was awake. She was home schooled, so she just stays up as late as she wants and then wakes up whenever. The question for me was, would she answer? 

I shakily reach into my pocket, pulling out my phone. I found her name in my contacts and press it, putting it up to my ear and hearing it ring. I was shaking more, but I wasn't sure if it was from anxiety or blood loss. I would guess both. After a few more rings, I was ready to hang up and go back to cutting. Maybe I'd get lucky and my razor would slip.

"Hello?" I jumped when I heard her voice. I didn't know she answered; I was too caught up in my own thoughts.

"H-h-hey Anna."

"Um, who's this?..." she asks, confusion in her voice. I felt a little pang in what was left of my hearts. She didn't know who I was. She didn't remember me.

"I-it's Kellin...." I say, holding the tears back. Why did it hurt so much that she didn't remember my name? This wasn't the first time it happened.

"Oh hey Kellin! Sorry new phone. I haven't had time to put all my contacts in. I'm glad you called though." I felt a bit of warmth in my chest, Even if she was faking it, she was at least a little happy we were talking. I could tell by her voice.

"Really?"

"Mmhm. All my other friends are asleep because they're boring. So what's up?" I look down at my razor then back up.

"Oh nothing...I just needed a friend."

'A friend other than than this cold piece of medal I relied on so much.' I bite my tongue to keep that last part in.

"Is something wrong Kellin?" she asks. I look back down, not sure if I should tell her anything or not.

"Yea. I'm fine. Just tired. I can't turn my mind off." I pause for a moment, not sure if I should ask her what I was about to. I sigh, deciding to.

"Hey Anna? Would you be able to meet me somewhere? I'm sorry, but I really need someone to make sure I don't do anything stupid." I knew I didn't have to explain what I meant by stupid; she knew what I meant.

"Yea sure. Meet me at the park?" I nod.

"Yea. The park sounds good. Thank you so much."

"No problem. Bye Kellin. I'll see you in a few minutes. Bye."

"Bye." I heard the line go dead and closed the phone, sliding it into my pocket. I looked down at what I was wearing, deciding I should change. Blood was all over the sleeves of this one. I walk over to my dresser and take off my shirt. I wasn't sure what other shirts I had to wear. Most of the ones that covered my cuts weren't clean, mainly because I still hadn't found the will to do anything. I knew that tomorrow I'd have to wash them. I would have to do it when dad wasn't looking though, maybe when he was at work. That would mean I would most likely be late to school. I sighed as I searched through the little shirts I had, pulling out a My Chemical Romance one. It was one of Max's old shirt and was a bit big on me, but I put it on. I scrunched up my nose when I looked into the mirror. I had gotten A LOT skinnier since the last time I wore it. It literally hung off of me.