You're My Last Hope (Under Edit)

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

"Kellin are you sure you have to leave?" Anthony asks, silently begging me not to leave with his eyes. The movie had just ended a few minutes ago. Anna and Taylor were in the kitchen and Cody had wondered off to explore the house. I hope he doesn't break anything. He probably will. I look up at Anthony and nod slowly.

"I have to...Dad will be mad that I missed school and that I'm home so late...Staying will just add fuel to the fire..." I said sadly. He sigh and brushes my hair back out of my eyes.

"Just stay with me Kellin. I'll make sure he doesn't hurt you. Kellin mom won't mind you staying with us. I...I don't want him to hurt you anymore. Please Kel." I look down and shake my head, blinking my tears back.

"Anth I can't just run away. I've tried that. He'll find me. He'll hunt me down." He sighs, looking down.

"Why would it matter to him if you run away?" I look up at him.

"I know too much. If I ran away, he knows there's a chance I'll tell someone. I could ruin his reputation so easily just by telling anyone that he abuses me. He would kill me if he knew I told you."

"Then why don't you just tell then leave? He wouldn't find you because the police would have him." he says, leaning over and looking at me. I shake my head.

"Because he would know. He would know I told and he would kill me. Anth I really need to go..." He shakes his head, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me. I quickly hug him back, putting my face in his neck. I never really told him this, but I liked his hugs. They were comforting. Even though he was lanky, he was strong. His hands were really rough, but I liked that for some reason. They didn't remind me of Max's hands, his were soft, so I wasn't sure why I did. There was just something comforting about the way he would rub my back when he hugs me or when he would pet my hair when I staid at his house and he thought I was asleep. He looks at me,  a few tears running down his cheeks. I wasn't sure why he was crying, but, either way, I retch up and wipe off his tears. He smiles softly at me and looks down.

"H-hey Kellin could I tell you something?..." he whispers. I nod.

"Yea what is it?" He shakes his head, looking around the room.

"Not here. Somewhere more private." he says, standing up and pulling me up with him. I follow him upstairs and into another room, it looked like a guest room. I wasn't sure if we should be here, but I didn't say anything as he turned on the lights. He turned around to face me, closing the door.

"Um- I- um..." I cross my arms, looking up at him.

"What is it Anthony? You can tell me. I won't tell I promise. Whatever it is, I won't tell." He nods, looking down and rubbing his face.

"C-c-could we sit down?..." I nod, taking his head and leading him over to the bed. He sits down and pulls me down after him, hugging me close again. I hugged him back, letting him lean his head on my chest. I'm not sure what was wrong with him, but, what ever it is, I hated it. Anthony didn't deserve to hurt. He was too sweet. I didn't like seeing him cry. It made me wish I could just take away all the pain he had. But I couldn't. And that seemed to hurt me more than anything. I started to rub his back softly. I really didn't know what else to do. It's not often that I'm the one comforting people. He looked up at me.

"K-Kel please don't be mad....." I shake my head.

"I won't Anth." He leans his head on my shoulder, looking down at the ground.

"I-I used to self harm...." he whispers softly. I didn't know what to say. What could I say? I already knew he did, Taylor told me, but it still hurt to hear it. I try my best to keep looking at him. I had to be the strong one now. Anthony needed me now and I needed to be strong for him.

"Where at?" I whisper. That's all I could think to ask. He carefully moves some of his bracelets. They were hard to see but, if you looked close enough, you could see the scars. They were slowly fading away, but you could tell that some will always be there.

"There's more on my hips...." he whispers, his hand on the edge of his shirt. He was biting down on his lip, hesitating on lifting his shirt. I looked up at him.

"You don't have to show me if you don't want you. I understand." He shakes his head, still biting his lip.

"No...It's not that..." he whispers, looking down.

"What is it then Anth?" He looks down, taking in a deep breath.

"I-I still do self harm..." Once again, my heart shatters. He still self harmed. He still hurt him self. He still did something he didn't deserve. He lifts up his shirt to reveal burns and bruises all over his abdomen. They looked horrible. On his pale skin, they both stood out. I suck in air at the sight of them. He looks up at me, still holding up his shirt.

"I know...It's just that, sometimes i feel so weak. Like, I just don't want to go get my lighter. So I start to punch myself...It hurts but it helps..." he whispers shamefully. I shake my head, lowering his hands.

"Anthony, I'm sorry to ask, but why?" He looks down then back up.

"Um well...Annabeth...I miss her...I loved her..." I nod and takes his hand into both of mine.

"Anthony, I doubt Annabeth would want to see you doing that to yourself. She probably hates seeing you do that as much as you hated seeing her do the same." He shakes his head.

"It's not just that."

"What is it?" He sighs a bit and puts his other hand ontop of mine.

"I just feel worthless....Kellin I-I just don't wanna live. I feel like, if I died, no one would care." I quickly shake my head.

"No. No no no don't think that please. You're not worthless. I've seen how Taylor looks at you. He loves you; he looks up to you a lot. If he lost you I don't think he;d ever be as happy again. Trust me, I know what it's like to lose an older brother. If he lost you...it would crush him. He's probably blame himself. He'd start self harming to, to make all the memories of you go away. He'd hate himself for the rest of his life..." I say, blinking back the tears. I hated this. Anthony couldn't do this to himself. He couldn't die.

"Kellin I don't think-"

"Anth I need you..." I say, choking back my tears. "I-I can't lose you...I've already lost both my parents, someone who I thought was my best friend. and my brother. I can't take losing you. Y-you're the closest thing I have to a brother since Max isn't awake...I-I don't want to lose you. Please don't leave me here alone..." I whispers, biting my lip as an attempt to hold back my tears. They still fell thought, but I didn't wipe them off. I look up at Anthony and see a few tears rolling down his cheeks. I lean forward and hug him close and he doesn't hesitate to return it.  We sat there for a few minutes, just hugging each other, until Anthony spoke.

"Kel there's one more main reason I self harm...." I glance up at him a bit, waiting for the other reason. He sighs, resting his chin on my head.

"Well I have this friend...H-She self harms too, really badly. And, she's so broken...It hurts me so much. I love her. She's like my best friend. I love her, but I'm too scared to tell her. She doesn't know how much she means to me...." he says, keeping his chin on my head. I move closer to him, just really wanting to be near him and know he's really here. He sighs. I look up at him.

"Just tell her." He shakes his head.

"It's not that simple...I just can't explain it..." I nod and tuck my head back under his chin.

"Thanks for listening ba-buddy." I nod, closing my eyes and relaxing.

"Any time Anth."

"K-Kellin...Please don't tell anyone..." I nod and look up at him.

"I won't Anthony. I promise."