A Dangerous Enigma

1. Photograph

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time's forever frozen still

~ Ed Sheeran

Chapter one. Photograph

Change isn't always for the best, sometimes change can deprive you of all the best things about someone but at the same time change can be good...

The coldness engulfed me. In fact it had become me. I was nothing but a freezing cold pregnant girl. I didn't mean that my attitude was cold; I was literally and physically cold.

Everything was really too good to be true. And for some reason, deep down I knew that it was inevitable that Leo would get arrested at one point in his life, I didn't think it would be so soon though. We had finally found our happy ending, but within a blink of an eye everything was ruined and I couldn't think of a way to fix everything and I couldn't find a way to make all of our go away.

I stared up at the boring white ceiling, in the kitchen, and sighed heavily. Loneliness was taking over me, and I couldn't remember the last time I had been this lonely. Leo was gone and the fact that I hadn't seen him for over three weeks was killing me. I missed everything about him; his smile, his laughter, his eyes, the way he held me tight but most importantly I missed his love for me. Leo had been trying to arrange a visit for me to see him but it took ages for it to go through to the arrangers. In England the prison scheme is a whole lot different compared to America, but I wasn't sure how much different though.

I wrapped my arms around my stomach protectively, as I waited for the kettle to boil. I wasn't sure how far along I was, in the pregnancy, in fact I had lost track of the weeks. When I first took the test I was about two to three weeks along but that was way before the wedding. I was probably nine weeks or even ten by now... If I was nine or ten weeks then my baby was roughly about the size of a grape or an olive. I knew that I was due for a scan, but I didn't see a point in going if Leo wasn't allowed to come with me, although I had to go and see a doctor sooner or later with or without Leo. There was no way that he could get out of his prison cell just for a few hours. There was no way that he could even be bailed out. He wasn't a suspect for the murder, he was the actual murderer.

Leo still kept in touch with me, the odd phone call now and again to check up on me but hearing his voice wasn't enough. I couldn't go through the pregnancy without him, I didn't want the pregnancy to be like my last one where I had no support from Leo at all... but that was because I never told him.

Because of the miscarriage, I knew that I had been a lot more cautious and weary over this pregnancy, I couldn't afford to lose another baby, and I didn't want any complications at all. All I wanted was a nice, easy and normal pregnancy with all the morning sickness and cravings. If a normal pregnant women was with me right now and I had told her that I actually wanted cravings and morning sickness, she would have laughed in my face and called me crazy.

To pass the time I had committed myself to baking, watching reruns of glee and also reading a heap of pregnancy books. There was nothing else to do and I had grown tired of spending my days cooped up in my room and crying my eyes out.

Crying wasn't good for me or the baby, but that was all I could do. Lately, I had been losing sleep dreaming of all the things that Leo and I could have been doing together if he wasn't locked up in a cell. We could have been preparing for the baby, buying clothes even though it was way too early. We could have been on our honeymoon, enjoying the warmth weather in either Mauritius or Italy. Leo and I weren't too sure on where to go for our honeymoon. We had Mauritius and Italy in our minds but I had let Leo decide where to go since I wanted everything to be surprised. I still didn't know if he chose Mauritius or Italy.