Book Two - It Should Have Been Us

Chapter Twenty Three

It didn't take long for James to wrap things up. His contract with the network already ended. He turned over the foundation to Lauren. His only obligations were his standing endorsements and Viva made arrangements that would work. It took ate Caryl 2 weeks to get things straightened out. James is still an Australian citizen after all so it wasn't that hard. Reese and I were given tourists visa for the meantime. It helped that Boss Vic know someone from the Embassy – it helped speed things up. I don't think I could have waited any longer.

I looked outside the window; it's as if the clouds knew exactly what I feel inside because it was cloudy – like the sky would open up any second and launch a full blast waterfall. I looked beside me; the two boys in my life sleeping peacefully with Reese little fingers holding James'. I never expected James to come with us. I just told him Philippines didn't feel like home anymore and I had to leave. He suggested going back to Australia without batting an eyelash.

It meant everything to me. He has already uprooted his life in the Philippines; besides, his dad's not getting any younger. I know I'm running away again. It's cowardly. But seeing Paulo can't be good for me. Add to that the stress of the media sniffing around us once my pregnancy's been revealed. My mom was nothing but understanding. I feel bad leaving her again but she convinced me it was good for the baby as well.

My baby. It's funny how every time I'm pregnant I end up running away from home. Same father for my kid, same heartbreak. I guess the only difference now is that it's someone else I'm trying to move on from and not James. Because this time, James is running away with me. I felt my still flat stomach. I was hoping Reese gets a sister or a brother but not under these circumstances. I had to stifle a cry. James placed his hands on top of mine.

Hey, are you okay? Masama ba pakiramdam mo? Worry evident in his eyes.

No, no. I'm just- I chuckled. Don't you find it ironic? Parang palagi na lang, pag buntis ako, heartbroken ako tapos nasa airplane ako. I bit my lip.

Hey...you're gonna be okay. And I won't let anything bad happen to you this time.

Thank you.

For what?

Just... thank you.

The first few weeks were busy. I had no time to think of Paulo. Settling into the house James bought for us, getting acquainted with his relatives again, enrolling Reese to another play school, getting myself a new OB-Gyne, and just recently James finally convinced this Japanese chef to sign up with him so we're all set for the Japanese Restaurant he's been meaning to put up; I find myself swamped with daily activities. There are still few Filipinos who recognize us especially James and they would ask for a picture or an autograph but I'd say this was the most normal we've ever been. James, surprisingly, doesn't seem to miss the limelight much. Either he's actually enjoying the peace and quiet, or he's doing a really great job of playing the part. There are days though when he has to go back to the Philippines to fulfill his standing obligations but we avoid talking about it. No mention of home or the people we left behind whenever we talk.

We found it hilarious that he's putting up a Japanese restaurant now when our baby doesn't seem to like Japanese food. The craving I used to have for sushi when I was pregnant with Reese was easily replaced by disgust for even the mere sight of ramen. And while being pregnant with Reese was easy on me, our second baby seems to forget that morning sickness is called morning sickness and not all day sickness. And that it should have ended on my first trimester pero second trimester na parati pa rin masama pakiramdam ko. I find myself throwing up and feeling dizzy almost every day. Even rising up in the

morning seems such a struggle. There are days when I feel so lethargic that James has no choice but to leave the restaurant construction to Jenny and her husband so he could be home to take care of me and Reese.