24|| Confessions and Cuddles (2)

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Warning: This chapter includes cutting, depression and suicide. If any of this triggers you, skip past the part with ****.


Caspian's POV

"Well I don't" she snapped, glaring at me, before turning away, her back facing me.

Her shoulders began shaking and muffled sobs escaped her lips. I reached forward and wrapped my arms around her, tugging her towards me. She immediately turned around and buried her face in my chest, as sobs wracked her body and her tears soaked the front of my shirt.

I whispered sweet nothings in her ear as I ran my fingers through her hair and rubbed her back soothingly with my other hand.

When her sobs reduced into sniffles, she removed her face from my chest and leaned up, kissing me softly.

The kiss was salty due to her tears but it was still filled with love and passion. When she pulled away, a beautiful smile spread across her lips as I wiped away her tears with my thumb.

"Do you wanna talk about it" I whispered.

Her smile instantly vanished as she shook her head.

And just like that, my confident guy persona vanished and in its place, was shy stuttering Caspian.

"O-Oh. I-I understand" I said, my face heating up from embarrassment, as my hand dropped from her cheek and my eyes drifted towards the ceiling.

"Caspian?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you...okay?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm fine. Totally fine."

"Caspian. Look at me" she said, as she leaned over and placed a hand on my chin, tilting my head to face her.

I know she loves me and I love her too, but sometimes, I feel like she could do better than me. Sometimes, I feel like she deserves a better mate. One who's not a fucking hypocrite. I expected her to tell me everything that had happened in her past, but I couldn't even tell her my backstory.

Too absorbed with my thoughts, I vaguely heard her mutter, "Ugh, you're so difficult," before the bed creaked and Melia rolled on top of me, so she was straddling my hips.

"Babe, look at me," she said, turning my head so we were face to face.

"Look. It's not that I don't trust you, 'cause I do. A lot. I just...I feel like...if I told you about my past, then you'd see me differently. You'll think I'm made of glass. And I just don't want that. Don't believe, even for a second, that I don't-mmph!"

I cut her off with a kiss as my hands gripped her hips tenderly and my fingers caressed her waist. A few seconds later, I broke the kiss and fully circled my arms around her waist, as she stretched her legs so she lay on top of me. I rolled us so we were laying on our sides and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

I pulled her close to my body and kissed the side of her head tenderly.

"I will never think of you any different than I do right now. I think you are a confident, independent, strong-willed woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. I think you are very hard-working and caring and individualistic. I think you are passionate about what you love and possessive about what belongs to you. I think you are sexy as fuck and it takes all my self-control not to kiss you senseless sometimes. But overall, I think you are the most extraordinary person I've ever met."

Her eyes had teared up and she gave me a watery smile.

"Really?" she asked, her voice cracking at the end.

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