POPSTAR; harry styles

{48}

I am kissing Harry Styles.

Ok, I am kissing Harry Styles.

Is this really happening right now?

As we continued to kiss breathlessly, I just started to realize what I was doing completely. Is this even what he wants? He said that he wanted to be better for me, so that has to mean something, right?

I suck at feelings or any of that shit in general.

I kind of just do stuff without thinking.

Like now, ha!

After enough double guessing myself, I finally unattached my lips from Harrys and I admired the man, who was trying to catch his breath, with a confused facial expression on his face.

I don't blame him. I kind of just grabbed him and kissed him.

Is that assault?

As I continued to admire his expression, which was filled with confusion I started to doubt myself some more. I was so confident when I kissed him and now all of that confidence was leaving my body as the seconds passed.

Harrys eyes were still closed and his cheeks were stained a bright red color. The confusion was evident on his face, as his eyebrows were deep in a furrowed possession and his jaw was tense.

All I could do was watch him in desperation hoping he won't kick me out of his house and yell at me how he doesn't think of me like that anymore.

As I continued to watch him, Harry finally opened his eyes and looked right at me with confusion even more obvious, as he eyes were wide.

Fuck, I messed up.

He doesn't actually like me anymore does he?

He just wants a friendship and I just ruined it didn't I?

As Harry continued to look at me, who was breathing heavily, I quickly stood up and started to collect my things while muttering and stumbling over my sentences frantically.

"Oh my g-god, I am-m so sorry. I shouldn't have-e done that, fuck!"

I was panicking horribly, as I looked around for my phone that I had thought I left in this music room that I was so excited to be in at first. My breathing was becoming heavier, as I started to feel anxious.

It was like the walls were closing in on me. I couldn't take the rejection that I was sure to receive from Harry.

How dumb could I be?

As I continued to mumble useless sentences, I didn't even notice Harry stand in front of me, as I looked through stacks of books, while I looked for my phone.

It wasn't until I felt someone grasp my shoulders, that I stopped frantically searching for my phone. With as little courage that was left in me, I looked up to see Harry smiling brightly down at me.

Huh? Why is he smiling at me?

Is this the part where he laughs in my face, cause I don't think I can handle that right now. My anxiety is already through the roof at the moment.

"Syd?"

No, no, no, no, I cannot take the rejection.

I quickly moved around Harry to the door to the door of the music room and started speaking random thoughts.

"Look, I understand Harry you don't feel the same and I get it."

"Sydney-"

"No, it is fine. I was just being stupid and was getting into the song too much. I will leave and you won't have to see me again, ok."