“Oh hey where were you guys!” yelled Jaime out the window at the approaching boys.
“Where is your shirt!” yelled Mike from the door.
As they entered the bus the questions were repeated.
“Where were you!” ”Where’s your shirt!” Asked Jaime and Mike again.
“Uhm... Well…” Vic started, “ We got moshed by these girls it was crazy.” Kellin finished his sentence while fluffing the back of his hair.
“I like girls.” Said Tony softly into his shoulder.
This immediately distracted the guys from Kellin and Vic’s lateness.
“Good to know?” said Jaime in a questioning tone.
Tony walked out the door awkwardly. Mike went to look out the window but Tony was gone. “Where does he go!” Yelled Mike. “Roof.” Guessed Kellin. He caught Vic’s gaze remembering how they started. “I want a pop tart” said Vic quickly as he ran to the toaster. Kellin glanced over his should at Vic and winked. What does that mean pondered Vic to himself. Kellin seemed to send him a wink at the most random of times. Vic continued to search for pop tarts while Kellin watched him closely. ‘What was up with him all of a sudden?’ Kellin wanted to ask but no one else seemed to see a difference in his behavior.
So Kellin pushed it out of his mind and settled himself next to Mike. Vic half yelled “There are no pop tarts!” as he stomped over to the couch. He decided he would lay across Jaime, Mike, and Kellin instead of sitting on the floor or in the chair. Kellin had his head in his lap. He looked down at him, he looked cute when he was angry. Kellin began to play mini bongos on Vics forehead and beat boxed to the rhythm he made. Jaime starred at Kellin who seemed to be enjoying himself. “Having fun?” he asked as if he already knew the answer. “Mhmm” Kellin hummed while nodding his head. “Well I’m not.” Grunted Mike flipping his older brother onto the floor. Kellin wanted to jump to see if he was alright but he held it back. Kellin made a comical pouting face, as he now had no “bongos” to play.
He pretended to sulk and it was pretty much the cutest thing Vic had ever seen. Vic looked up to try to catch Kellins gaze but before he could Mike was kneeling on his chest trying to kill him with a pillow. Kellin laughed and clapped hysterically before eventually falling from his spot the floor. Mike still wailing on his older brother with a couch pillow. The weight of Mike on Vic’s chest made it hard for him to breath, that combined with hysterical laughter turned out to be a bad combination. Jaime noticed Vic began to look blue. Jaime picked up Mike and pulled him off Vic who was now gasping for air. Mike rolled back word on the floor still; laughing like a hyena, didn’t notice that Kellin had fled the scene.
Once the laughter ceased, and Vic caught his breath it was painfully obvious that Kellin had left without a word. And where was Tony? Vic knew exactly where to look. He went outside the bus into the cool night air, and lit a cigarette. He slowly paced forward before stopping and turning to look at the blackened bus. Sure enough Kellin and Tony were sitting on the roof of the bus pointing at the stars. Vics cheeks grew dark with jealousy. ‘How can I be mad at Tony?’ ‘He doesn’t know. How could he?’ Vics thoughts formed slowly in his head as he fixated on his friend.
“I don’t know man looks like a turtle to me.” Tony argued. “No, it’s Orion. I’m sure of it!” Kellin pushed laughing at Tony. “Well whatever it is its sure does look pretty.” Kellin added softly. Tony dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “got a light?” he asked Kellin while extending a hand toward him. “Uhm yea. I think so.” Kellin replied while digging through his tight pockets to retrieve his lighter. When he sat up to get deeper into his pocket he noticed a flick of light beyond the bus lights reach. He squinted to see Vic puffing on a lit cig. Completely forgetting about his search for a lighter he hoarsely whispered “I’ll be back.” Kellin pulled himself up and walked softly over to the ladder and slowly crept down. His feet hit the pavement below with a light splash, he shook the water of his toms before skipping over to Vic. He glanced up at the bus to see Tony had laid back down to look at the stars.
Kellin walked up slowly behind Vic and blew a quick huff of air at the back of his neck. Vic shrugged off Kellins flirt and slowly spun around on his heels. Kellin looked eager to say hello, a big smile across his face. “So what’s with you and Tony?” Vic snapped at Kellin. His wide grin immediately turned into a not so comical pout. “So?” Vic barked. “I don’t know what to tell you.” Kellin started, his voice broke. “I know you’re not going to believe me if I say were just friends…” His voice broke again tears now glistening under his eyes. “You can’t be like this… I’m not going to go after … I’m not gay…” Vic was at a loss for words. His plans to confront Kellin for making him jealous back fired from Kellin’s sad express of honesty. “I… don’t.. I … just…” Vic couldn’t finish his thought. Tears now streaming down Kellins face, his ice blue eyes turning red.
Vic stomped back into the house without a word to Mike or Jaime, who both said hello. He slammed past the folding bunk door and pushed into the bathroom. His hands trembled gripping the sink starring at him-self in the mirror. He slowly unzipped his hoodie. Pulled it off over his shoulders and dropped it to the floor. He ran his cold fingers over wounds feeling where they had been reopened by Kellin’s grip. He slid his other hand under the mirror and found his blade. He fingered it lifelessly in his trembling hands. He slid his hand down his arm and gripped the wrist holding the blade debating how to go about this.
He gripped the sink turning his knuckles white bit his lip and slid the blade up his forearm. The blood poured from his wrist to his elbow, the blade falling into the sink with a soft clatter. He sank to the floor gripping his cut arm. The numbness didn’t come. He became light headed, pain radiating up his arm, the blood still flowing in a steady stream. The cut was deeper then he meant it to be, he looked down in horror, the skin around the wound seemed to curl back word. He never really saw the cuts on his back he only felt them. If they looked anything like this Mikes reaction at the hospital was completely justified. He felt himself fall back into his thoughts, his eyes drooped closed, he felt a spinning sensation his could almost feel Kellins lips on his. Kellin’s eager smile flashed through his mind and everything went blank as Vic fell into nothingness.
