chapter 18 "some tour, huh?"

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“You are friends of Mr. Quinn? Yes?” She said hesitantly looking at the shirtless Vic and Tony. Tony cracked his shoulders and met the nurse’s gaze. She shook her head a little and addressed the group. “As you may or may not know the damage to your friend’s knee was quite extensive.” She swallowed hard glancing over at Tony who was on the edge of his seat starring directly into her eyes.

“Yes, we have our plastic surgeon in there now he’s trying to reconstruct the cartilage in your friends knee. The nerve in his right ring finger was not able to be saved and he will have minimal use of that finger for the rest of his life.” She scratched at her arm before continuing, clearly intimidated by the group. “As far as his having to be ….. uhm….. having to have….. We had to restart his heart when he came in and again during surgery.” She took a deep breath, “When your friend comes out of surgery and comes up from his anesthesia he will most likely have memory loss dating back as from a few hours to a couple months. We really can’t tell until he’s talking again.” She paused starring at the puzzled faces of the bands. “Any questions?”

There was a long pause, “So when do we get to go see how he’s doing?” asked Jesse a quiver in his voice. The nurse had no idea who spoke and looked startled, “Well we are trying to work fast so your friend isn’t under for too long; to avoid complications and such, as soon as he has been brought into a recovery room we will be allowing visitors. He won’t be awake for a while after that though so we do urge family and friends to visit our cafeteria to get food and such.” she smiled and turned on her heels. She didn’t bother to ask if anyone else was concerned before rushing down the hallway.

“So uhm…. She never said how much longer we had to wait…” said Jack trying to lighten the mood. Gabe looked up at him and smiled, “Yea you’re… you’re right.” He tried to fake a laugh but it was a pathetic attempt. Justin stretched his arms out purposely hitting Jesse and Gabe in the face. Jesse grabbed his arm and swung it forward. It smacked against Tony’s chest, Tony laughed and shoved Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse, Justin, and Tony chuckled, exchanging smiles. Their happiness didn’t last though as it was hard to joke around in a situation like this. The groups generally got more and more awkward. Vic stood up and started walking toward the door, “Where are you going?” called Jesse. Vic didn’t respond he just walked out the door. Justin stood up “Well I need a smoke.” “Same” said Jesse standing up and following him out the door.

Vic was sitting on the ground at the base of the hospital wall starring at his arm. Jesse walked into the parking lot and pulled out a box of Marlboro cigarettes. Justin bummed a cig off him and sat on the ground next to Vic. He took s drag on his cig, “What’s bugging you?” he asked smoke rolling over his lips as he spoke. Vic looked over at him “You’re wearing one plug and one tunnel.” Justin laughed and started pulling his gauges out. “Better?” he asked still smiling. “No, that’s just worse.” Vic joked looking at his empty lobes. Jesse was walking over to them; he crouched on the other side of Vic and slid down the wall. “Some tour huh?” Justin took another drag on his cig, “Yea some tour.” They sat in silence puffing on their cigarettes. Vic watched in silence remembering how hard it was to quit. He looked down at his phone 9:16am, he sighed and leaned his head against the wall enjoying the smoke flowing around him.

Sun light began to pour past the curtains into Mikes face. He raised his arm to cover his face, moving Maya from his shoulder as he did so. Mike felt her soft warm lips on his neck, he had forgotten where he was. He removed his arm from his face and wrapped it around her shoulders. “I’m really glad you stayed.” She whispered snuggling into his arms. “I never had a reason to leave.” He said softly running his fingers through her hair. Maya ran her fingers up Mike’s chest and popped his lower lip “I’ve been legal for over a year now you know.” Mike smiled and kissed her on the forehead. Maya bit at her lip thinking over her next move. She braced herself against Mike’s chest and pulled herself into a straddle over him. Mike sighed and put his arms over his face. “Oh c’mon! This is completely unfair.

You are doing the opposite of what every guy does when they see someone they…. They... they care about after a long time.” She pulled her leg back over him and sat cross legged in the middle of the bed. Still covering his face Mike mumbled “I can’t do that to you.” “Can’t do what? I don’t get it! You can’t have sex with me? Do I really disgust you that much?” Maya was yelling now. “No.” Mike mumbled from under his arms. “Then what is it! I would love an explanation!” Maya was getting louder. Mike sighed, and mumbled lowly “Because that’s it.” “What’s it!” Maya screamed sounding as though she was going to cry. Mike uncovered his face and pulled himself up on his elbows, “If we have sex that’s it. There’s nothing after that. It’s just going to be sex, that’s it.” Maya opened her mouth to speak but Mike shushed her, “And don’t say it won’t be because I know how this works, and I’m not losing you over something so stupid.” Maya looked away tears filling her grey green eyes. “I’m not going to have sex with you because I want to love you. I just don’t want us to be sex; I want it to be love. I want to create love with you.” Mike didn’t know which sounded better.

Maya shook her head and hopped off the bed; she pushed passed the beads and slammed the bathroom door. The water ran loudly through the old pipes, to the shower. Mike pulled himself off the bed and took a deep breath. He pushed away the beads and walked into the bright apartment. He walked slowly to the bathroom door and slowly turned the handle. Maya was sitting on the edge of the tub; in a towel, watching the shower water spray the wall. Mike pushed the door completely open and walked into the small bathroom. He closed the door behind him with his foot and crouched on the ground in front of Maya. She pretended like she didn’t see him and ran her hand under the water. Mike sighed and opened his mouth to speak, Maya spoke first “I saved myself for you. Did you know that?” she looked him in the eye and spoke again before giving him a chance to speak. “I just hoped one day you would come back, I thought maybe if I was 18 you would want to BE with me. But, I guess not I guess I’m just a stupid girl praying for a fairytale.” Mike didn’t speak who knew she wasn’t finished,

“So no it wouldn’t just be sex, for me anyway. It would be special because it’s the first fucking time. When you pulled me over at that club I thought you had forgotten about me and I’d end up having to just fuck you like some whore. I mean in my head it would be me and you for the first time but for you, I’d just be a whore getting you off.” Mike took a deep breath but Maya started up again, “How creepy am I? Like I thought what we had was really even if we didn’t ‘go anywhere.’ I thought maybe we didn’t because I was 16. It’s been 3 years that I was stuck in some fantasy waiting for you. And now here you are and…” Mike stopped her, “I didn’t know you cared, even at all. I wanted you to move on, I didn’t call you because I wanted you to move on.” Mike took a deep breath and looked at Maya. “I was 24 and you were 16 of course I wasn’t going to let anything happen. I mean if people found out, If your parents or teachers or someone found out. Do you know how much trouble I could have gotten in? Even just being around you and acting the way I did was dangerous. It’s hard to come out of that even if it has been 3 years. You will always be the fan I fell for.”

Maya didn’t meet his gaze; she just starred at the running water, clutching her towel to her chest. “So that’s all I am to you just another crazy fan girl.” She clenched her jaw still starring at the water. Mike felt himself getting angry “You think I would just spend the night at some crazy fan girl’s place and tell her I’m not going to hurt her because I love her too much? Just every fucking fan girl I meet that’s what I do, just feed the flame huh?” Mike took a deep breath and looked at the wall. He wanted to just scream at her, he didn’t know what he would say but he wanted to just scream.

He rolled his hands into fists, his knuckles turning white he stood up. He put one hand on the door knob squeezing it hard in his palm. He release the knob and turned around he stood directly above Maya glaring down at her. She looked up at him tears in her eyes, her shoulders tensed as if preparing for some form of impact. Mike wrapped his hands behind her head and kissed her, forcing her lips against his. He braced his knees on either side of hers, against the tub.

She let go of her towel and wrapped her arms around his neck. Mike pulled her lips apart with his letting their tongues intertwine. He pulled his lips away from hers as she ran her hand down his chest to the hem of his jeans. He looked down at her hand and back into her eyes, “I’m not going to do this unless you promise me one thing.” She wrapped her fingers around the waist of his jeans pulling him forward slightly, “You have to come with me.” Mike said looking deep into her eyes. “You’re not serious.” She whispered her eyes wide. Mike shook his head “I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.” Maya squealed slightly and bit her lip. “Okay I’ll come with you.” She said quickly pulling him back to her lips.

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