Sherlock - The Game Is On!

The Abominable Bride- Five

Chapter Five

Third POV

In 221B, Holmes, wearing a dark blue dressing gown over his clothes is pacing back and forth beside the table of the room behind the sitting room, reading a book. Lestrade is sitting on a chair at the other side of the table. "Five of them now, all the same, every one of 'em."

"Hush, please. This is a matter of supreme importance."

"What is?"

"The obliquity of the ecliptic. I have to understand it."

"What is it?"

"I don't know. I'm still trying to understand it."

"I thought you understood everything."

"Of course not. That would be an appalling waste of brain space. I specialise."

"Then what's so important about this?"

"What's so important about five boring murders?"

"They're not boring! Five men dead! Murdered in their own homes; rice on the floor, like at a wedding; and the word 'YOU' written in blood on the wall!" Lestrade apprehended. He points angrily towards the opposite wall. Holmes continues to pace and read his book. "Uh, it's her! It's the Bride. Somehow she's risen again!"

"Solved it."

"You can't have solved it!" Lestrade flared. "Of course I've solved it. It's perfectly simple. The Incident of the Mysterious Mrs Ricoletti, the Killer from Beyond the Grave, has been widely reported in the popular press. Now people are disguising their own dull little murders as the work of a ghost to confuse the impossibly imbecilic Scotland Yard. There you are: solved." Snapping close of a book, Holmes turns to Lestrade. "Pay Mrs Hudson a visit on your way out. She likes to feel involved."

"You sure?"

"Certainly. Go away. Watson! Michelle! I'm ready. Get your hats and boots. We have an important appointment." Lestrade stands and picks up his hat, then looks into the sitting room. "Didn't Doctor Watson move out a few months ago?"

"He did, didn't he?"

"Where's Lady Phillips?" Lestrade asked. "She's been out most days..." Holmes turned away in thought, unsurely. "Who have I been talking to all this time?"

"Well, speaking on behalf of the impossibly imbecilic Scotland Yard, that chair is definitely empty." Holmes looks towards Watson's armchair and Michelle's seat. "It is, isn't it? Works surprisingly well, though. I actually thought he was improving." He looks through some paperwork on the table and then walks off in the direction of his bedroom. Lestrade turns and leaves the room.

Another empty chair is facing Doctor Watson. This chair is by the dining table and there is cutlery, a teacup and saucer and a tea plate in front of the chair. Sitting at the other end of the table in the dining room of his house while reading a newspaper, Watson looks across at the chair, then sighs and looks down at his newspaper again. After a moment he lifts his head and looks towards the door, then picks up a small bell from the table and rings it for a couple of seconds. He also has cutlery and a teacup and saucer in front of him, and nearby is a glass bowl of marmalade with a spoon in it.

Another glass bowl with a glass lid stands beside it. He puts down the bell and looks expectantly towards the door. After a while he puts down the newspaper and takes out his pocket watch from his waistcoat to look at the time. Sighing and shaking his head, he puts the watch away and rings the bell again. The door opens and a maid comes in. "Ah. Where have you been?"

"Sorry, sir. I'm rather behind my time this morning."

"Are you incapable of boiling an egg? The fires are rarely lit; There is dust everywhere; And you almost destroyed my boots scraping the mud off them. If it wasn't my wife's business to deal with the staff, I would talk to you myself. Where is my wife?"

"Begging your pardon, sir, but the mistress has gone out."

"Out? At this hour of the morning?"

"Yes, sir. Did you not know that, sir?"

"Where did she go? She's always out these days." The maid begins to laugh softly. "Not unlike yourself." Watson raises his head to look at her. "Sir."

"I'm sorry?"

"Just observing, sir."

"Well, that's quite enough. Nobody asked you to be observant."

"Sorry, sir. I just meant you're hardly ever home together any more, sir."

"You are dangerously close to impertinence." Watson leans forward in his chair. "I shall have a word with my wife to have a word with you." He sits back again and looks down at his paper. "Very good, sir. And when will you be seeing her?" Watson's head snaps up. He leans forward again. "Now listen..."

"Ooh, I nearly forgot, sir." She reaches into the pocket of her apron and takes out a telegram which she hands to him. "Er, a telegram came for you."

"You forgot?!"

"No, I nearly forgot."

"What have you been doing all morning?" He questioned, snatching the telegram from her. "Reading your new one in The Strand, sir."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Why do you never mention me, sir?" She counters. "Go away." She turns and leaves, and Watson opens the telegram. On the outside it reads:

DR. JOHN WATSON

and the message reads:

COME AT ONCE
IF CONVENIENT.
IF INCONVENIENT,
COME ALL THE SAME.
HOLMES

Watson instantly drops the telegram onto the table, stands up and hurries away.

In a hansom cab carrying Holmes and Watson. "The what of the what?"

"The obliquity of the ecliptic."

"'Come at once,' you said. I assumed it was important."

"It is. It's the inclination of the Earth's equator to the path of the sun on the celestial plane." Watson scoffs. "Have you been swotting up?"

"Why would I do that?"

"To sound clever."

"I am clever." Holmes deadpanned. "Oh, I see." Watson chuckles. "You see what?"

"I deduce we're on our way to see someone cleverer than you."

"Shut up." Holmes stated after a slight pause.