Chase You -1- Formula 1

75. So are we supposed to think about this or does this have no meaning?

A/n: Your engagement is really appreciated!

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"And I was thinking to wear clothes in either blue or purple because those were her favourite colours," my mum suggested, writing something down in her Frozen-themed notebook. "And maybe collect some people on the glade with all those butterflies? And the actual burial with the people we genuinely like."

I shook my head and fidgeted with a blue pen in my hands. "It sounds more like a wedding than a funeral," I said, furrowing my brows. "I don't think we should do this right now either, can't we just wait?" I asked, not really understanding everything. I hadn't accepted that Sophia actually passed away just yet and it just frustrated me that the others on this table, my mum and my grandmothers, were already busy with planning a good send-off.

When I was in Hungary, I didn't struggle with this as much, though now that I arrived at home I got so frustrated with all these people. They acted as if nothing had happened, we didn't recall enough memories yet to say goodbye with a whole gathering. It simply pissed me off, how they forgot about her so quickly.

"Eveline," the calling out of my middle name made me snap out of my daydream, how I preferred to let this whole funeral thing slide for a while. "It has been almost a week," my grandmother on my mum's side of the family said. "We understand it's hard for you to think about something like a funeral, but it is going to happen and you being stubborn isn't going to change it."

"Yes, but we are going way too fast with all of this, if we bury her, she is like gone-gone!" I defended, tapping my pen on the empty sheet of paper in front of me. I had been sitting here for a few hours now and not a single idea popped up in my mind. I wasn't made to plan a funeral, the others were much better at this. I glanced to the side, where my grandma of my dad's side of the family had made a whole list already, just like the others.

"She is already 'gone-gone'," my mother answered. "Maybe if you didn't go racing you would have realised that by now." I raised my brows, not knowing in what context she meant this, was I supposed to feel guilty? "Now," she sighed, scribbling something down in her notebook. "Do you have any added value here or are you just going to criticise everything we do? I am not experienced with this either, Daisy, so don't make this any harder than it already is. Thanks."

I gave her a nod and crossed my arms. They probably considered it to be inappropriate if I left the room for a few seconds, but I got nowhere with sitting here either. Why did this need to happen so last minute? Okay, it would be a little weird to plan someone's funeral when they were still alive, but simply thinking about the little things might have helped us now.

"No, I don't think that is appropriate," one of my grandma's said after I left a suggestion. It was actually something Sophia wanted, she made a list herself with things she wanted to happen. The first thing she wrote was; being the centre of attention. So therefore she wanted a painted coffin surrounded by lights and flowers, placed against a tree during the ceremony. "That's way too informal. What would the priest think?"

I made eye-contact with my mum and we shook our heads. "Soph wasn't religious," I stated, playing with my nails. "So I personally think it's weird to go to a church we never visited before."

"And it's not weird to open boxes with butterflies when she gets buried?" The same grandma asked, after grasping the list with Sophia's wishes out of my hands. "Where did you even find this?"

"It was just laying around somewhere, I don't know," I shrugged, taking the paper out of her hands. "This is what she wanted, so let's just do that." I looked around the table, my grandmothers weren't too enthusiastic about my proposal, though mum seemed to consider it. "It's not like she will ever ask for something else?"