Chase You -1- Formula 1

112. Spilling lemonade (and secrets)

Lando kicked me out of the house and kept the dog.
It would only be temporary, but it still hurt more than I cared to admit. I was angry and hurt and I knew he did the right thing by kicking me out, but he was acting like it was completely normal that I would be leaving, not even giving me a goodbye kiss as I got into my car. What he did do was put his forehead against mine, holding me tight as he whispered that he loved me. I held onto him, trying to ignore how I wished he didn't. It would be much easier. How badly I wanted him to believe that I didn't care one bit for Ferrari or whatever the hell that meant. That he hadn't seen the writing in my diary. But he did read my diary, he saw everything.

My head ached as I sat behind the wheel of my car, watching as the sun slowly sank on the horizon. I had no idea where to go after that, no other plan than to drive around aimlessly until something occurred to me. I needed to get out of the city - I needed to get away from everything. But that didn't seem feasible anymore with Lando. Especially considering my recent actions, and my current mood, I doubted I'd be able to drive far enough without falling asleep. Not to mention the fact that I didn't have a clue where to go or what I was planning to do.

I still needed my rest before the next race weekend, but with no place to go and no real purpose to occupy my mind, I felt exhausted. Maybe the ocean air and the change of scenery would do me good. After the emotional upheaval of the day I needed something simple to take my mind off the situation. Maybe it was a bad move, but I couldn't be bothered to care.

I drove to the airport as fast as my car would allow and hopped on a plane the next day, heading straight to the South American continent without bothering to text him a happy birthday, or if he'd called or texted me. I didn't know how I should handle him, if I was supposed to contact him or if I was allowed to stay away from him. I assumed the latter because it was the easiest. I didn't want to go to Brazil at first, considering I wanted to get out of the racing atmosphere for a moment, but it was considerably better than living in the car on my driveway because my 'boyfriend' didn't want to see me.

"I thought you went home?" A female voice suddenly brought me out of my thoughts, startling me and making me drop my lemonade. The liquid spilt, soaking my shirt as I turned around to see who had spoken. Kate held her hands up in defence when she saw how shocked I looked at her. She smiled awkwardly. "Oh... sorry.. you didn't hear me coming?"

"Not at all. It's all right though. No big deal," I assured her as I wiped my shirt quickly, cursing under my breath when I realized how messy my clothes became. "I landed upon a few issues and left home earlier than I intended to," I explained, shaking my head and picking up my drink again, or what remained from it.

She raised her brows at my response, a worried look growing across her face. "Ouch... I'm sorry to hear that," she apologized. "Which one hurt your feelings this time?"

"The one I have feelings for, obviously," I answered matter of factly. My words caught us both by surprise and we stared at each other for several moments. "That means Lando, for your information."

"Huh? You're kidding, right?" she questioned, shaking her head and walking around me. "I mean.." she started, stopping in front of me now. "You are joking right?"

"No, I'm not kidding, Kate. I wish I was," I confessed, running a hand over my hair and sighing in frustration. "We've been sort of together ever since Japan," I began. "We didn't tell anyone in case something like this would happen, and now this happened and now I'm telling you."

"Go on." She took a seat on the chair next to the bar counter.

"This whole Ferrari thing has gotten me thinking about us. Like, really thinking about us. Like, about what it would be like if we got married... and stuff like that," I explained. "I guess I don't want to live without him." She nodded slowly in agreement, but she seemed like she didn't understand me. "The thing is... he's upset about me signing that contract and the way he acts makes me feel guilty because-"