Chase You -1- Formula 1

23. Lets talk about me, number twenty three

A/n: this chapter is freaking long. Sorry. Anyways, votes and comments are appreciated!

These past few days have been very confusing for me. Did I really have George and Lando wrapped around my finger? And most importantly; did I love Charles? The fact that we just bought my dream house also played with my feelings. One side of me wanted nothing more than to move out, but could I be so selfish to leave mum and Soph behind?

Mum and Soph stayed at the hospital for another week. The doctors recommended to start the second part of her treatment, this was more advanced and would definitely have an impact on her daily life, not that battling cancer wasn't enough already. She didn't notice many changes in the past months as most of it was just testing and experimenting to figure out what was best for Sophia.

Mum wanted to be strong for us and didn't show a glimpse of how she truly felt. She didn't want to give up, especially when David continued to visit Soph in the hospital. She despised her ex, but he was still our dad if he wanted or not. She couldn't forbid him from seeing us, even if it affected her mental health. She really could use a day of rest. The only moments she relaxed were with her therapist or when Beth came over for a cup of tea.

My grandparents rented a house in my grandpa's birth town on a half-hour drive from London so that they could be there for all three of us, which we all appreciated. Grandma cleaned the house, did the groceries and cooked dinner five days in the week, she kept my diet in mind and did all the little things that weren't in our usual schedule, just to keep our lives as easy as she could. Grandpa took care of Fluffy and went on long walks with her if he didn't, he took care of the garden. The farm in the Netherlands was maintained by my mother's brother and his wife so Martha and Harold didn't need to worry about that.

I had not a lot to do that distracted me from overthinking. The antidepressants that mum kept on her nightstand looked quite appealing to be honest. There was nothing more that I wanted than to cry a river, but I inherited mum her stubbornness and pretended everything was okay. My fake smile had been plastered on my face for days now and as long as everyone believed I was doing just fine, I hadn't found a reason to tell anyone otherwise. I must admit, the wall I build around myself wasn't that comfortable as it used to be as it felt like people could break me any minute. If I heard one comment that didn't sit right with me I'd collapse.

Lando celebrated his birthday, he turned 19 today and decided to throw a little party for those close around him. A few of his friends I didn't know and some members from his new team, including his teammate. Sabrina and I were invited as well as George and Alex obviously.

I assumed it to be a casual party and went with a simple black dress. It was on the short side, but I wore a thin legging underneath so it wouldn't be too cold. I matched it with my Dr Martens and a faux leather jacket. A red lipstick and some mascara worked wonders. I didn't look like the mess I was luckily.

I didn't need to pick anyone up, so shouting along with my favourite songs on my way to the place Lando rented kept me busy enough. I got there before I realised. Using songs as an outlet helped to make me relax a little, I'd survive.

The doors were already open and I noticed a few people standing around high tables with drinks. A huge cake in the middle of the room caught my attention, not the perfect placement. The room was dark and a little damp already, it got worse when more people walked in. I scanned around the room to see my best friend, chatting with a few of his other guests. He wore a full black outfit, black jeans and a button-up shirt, he looked handsome and he blushed when I told him so. He held a drink in his hands, it couldn't contain alcohol as he didn't like drinking it, but it looked fancy.

"Congratulations!" I said and pressed three kisses on his cheek when I pulled him into a hug. I got him a present, which was a little boring, but it was all about the thought behind it. A scented candle for his room and socks. His friends looked a little weird at me, so I excused myself when I saw Sabrina standing in the corner of the room, laughing with Max Verstappen and my teammate.