signed anonymous

Dining with Voldemort

I had nearly turned to run back to my rooms six times. Since we started towards the dinning room. Tic was the only thing keeping me going there. But with only two corners left I just couldn't so I sat on the floor shaking my head. I kept trying to swallow around the giant lump in my throat but found myself unable. I knew I was panicking. Right up until something soft and silky was pressed into my hand.

I took a moment to just feel the fabric as I had taken to doing when I got emotional. When I looked up it was Toc who had put it there. He smiled at me and disappeared. Looking to my hand I saw a single blue silk glove. Breathing more evenly I asked tic to help me settle it inside my sleeve so no one would notice it. Then got up dusting myself off and push my self onward.

As soon as we reached the door Tic gave me a determined look and a sharp nod before going. Trying to steel my nerves I pushed the door open. Heard small chatter stop as I entered. I took an unconscious step back trying to grab the door handle behind me. But Barty broke the ice. " Ah hey squeak's was wondering if you wanted to chat with me and Lucius come sit with me.

Thinking to myself ' there's no way out'. I sit quickly between Barty and Lucius. "If your going to call me squeak's I'm just going to have to start calling you puddles." I said this just loud enough for the still silent room to hear. I could see Snape and a lady sitting next to.... Is that Voldemort?.... And Draco Blaise and Pansy sitting across from us.

It took a moment but soon everyone was laughing. I looked at Barty who had flushed crimson. "It's not not what you think!" He sputtered. Throwing me a betrayed look.

Smirking at him. "Sure sure we believe you." I said in a sarcastic tone of voice. Trying to smother my own laughter. Failing that I held my sides bending to laugh quietly. When I looked up I saw Barty looking cranky reaching for his goblet. And asked quietly your not angry right. He looked at me. Looking angry at first then his face softened. "Nah, I started it. You just finished it." Giving him a small smile I turned to uncle Luci.

"What were you guys talking about uncle?" I could hear the chatter pick back up. As uncle Luci quickly started to fill me in. When the soup arrived I noticed I had a smaller amount then others but I also knew why. If they gave me more I'd never be able to finish it. It wasn't until desert arrived that Voldemort asked me a question.

"Why are you doing a review of first through third year Harry?" He was looking at me but took a bite of his ice cream. Seeing Crashers square his shoulders and show me to breath I copied him.

"I don't think I ever did as well as I could have. So going back over the information will be good to ensure I can do my best further down the line." I said looking at his ear. Mainly due to the fact I knew I'd panic if I looked him in the eye.

"I have been informed that you wish for Severus to teach you once a week on Saturdays? However I think it would be more beneficial to have home teach you during the two week breaks in between don't you?" I stared at him not sure how to answer. Feeling trapped and starting to panic I rubbed my arm discreetly on the armrest of my chair but it didn't help. I really didn't want to mess this up so I shut down.

"Yes, it would be but that choice is left up to the both of you. I don't wish to ask for more when I have already been given so much." I saw Barty shaking his head. Turning to look at him he tugged a strand of his hair. Looking at a loose bit of my own I saw it was white. Barty was giving me a dirty look for blocking my emotions.

Focusing on my hair I turned it a gentle shade of blue. Then looked back at Voldemort. I had gotten better at controlling the color to hide my feelings during occlumency. "I'll discuss it with Severus tonight. And the four of us shall make solid plans after breakfast tomorrow." When he winced then looked towards Snape I knew Snape had kicked him.

I nodded slowly then changed my hair to baby pink widening my eyes slightly and smirking. "How are the owl's?" Instantly both his and the lady's eyes lit up with mischief. Suddenly a loud hoot was heard right next to me. Then another which seemed to come out of Snape. I looked at Lucius who looked mortified. Then at Snape who seemed confused.

When Lucius tried to speak again it once more came out as a hoot. Eye's widening as he looked at his lord. Snape seemed ready to panic. "As you can see Anonymous's owl is just fine. And your is well to." As he gestured to Lucius and Snape in turn. Both looked between us then slumped into their chairs.

"I don't get it Hedwig is at the Manor. Oh! Harry they started to build a nest today!" Draco bounced in his seat as he told me. "I think that her and Ulysses will have a clutch soon. I bet they will have cute little baby owl's. And we can put tiny little hats on them and teach them like you did with Hedwig. and..." He got cut off by Pansy, and Blaise putting a hand over his mouth.

I smiled at his antics. "He is excited can you tell? He even started trying to make little hats for them at lunch. Give it a week he'll be making costumes for them." Not able to help it I laughed.

"That's my job! He can make the accessories but I've got dibs on costumes and outfits!" I said also knowing I should feel excited. I changed my hair to yellow. Draco's eye's bugged out. Suddenly he kept up running over he pinched my sleeve pulling me up.

"We need plans and designs!" He turned to his mother then. "We're tired night" adding a very fake yawn at the end. Then began pulling me from the room. Not that I fought him on it. But as soon as we cleared the stairs to the guest rooms he turned to me. "what's wrong?"

"I started to panic and couldn't calm down so I stared occluding. I should probably go deal with my emotions now though Barty is definitely pissed that I did that. I'll probably get extra assignments for it. But I was not about to ruin dinner for everyone else by being weak." I told him truthfully then turned and headed up to my rooms.

Once inside my room I sealed it. Releasing my grip on my emotions I slid down the door. Panic instantly clouding my vision. I'm not sure how long it had been but feeling something pressed to my mouth I tried yank away. But liquid came in and something was rubbing my throat. Swallowing after a few minutes my vision cleared. I saw Crashers sitting there holding a vile.

"Calming draught?" Receiving a nod just before he popped away. Not wanting to deal with any more tonight I stood slowly and grabbed a pillow and the comforter. Going into the hidden closet inside my closet. I made a nest and crawled in to go to sleep.