20. Just sex

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after you and Chris clean everything up from last night, Natalie brought Lily home. "hey Lils" you say greeting her "how was your weekend?". "fun" she says excitedly, which you were happy about. she shows you a new doll her mom bought her, and she starts playing with it. you join her leaving Chris and Natalie to talk.

Chris' pov

"she seems happy" you tell Natalie. "yeah we had fun" she says smiling softly at you. it's been a while since you've seen her like this, it reminds you of why you fell in love with her. it's silent for a moment before she speaks again "listen Chris, I'm sorry. you just said what was on your mind and i.......I just, didn't handle it very well". you're surprised, she never apologized. "I just really want to figure things out between us, because I still really care about you" she says. "I care about you too Nat, you know that. we just need to figure this shit out" you tell her honestly. "yeah I know, I'm sorry for the things I've said" she tells you, sounding genuinely sad. you grab her face, so she's looking at you. "we'll figure it out" you tell her before you place a soft kiss on her lips. somewhere you felt a bit guilty towards y/n, but she was gonna leave eventually, so nothing serious was likely to happen with her anyways. as you let go of Nat she looks at you, a hopeful look in her eyes. "we're gonna fix this" she says softly. "yes we are" you say smiling softly at her.

your pov

"do you like my dad?" Lily asks you out of nowhere. "I told you I do" you tell her. "I mean are you in love with him?" she asks. you don't know what to tell her but you say "no". she looks at you a bit confused. "you're not a good liar" she says before she returns to play with her doll. "how was the weekend with your mom?" you ask her. "good, we had fun. I think she realizes now what she's gonna lose if her and daddy split up" she tells you. god this kid was smart.

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later in the evening you sit on the couch with Chris, wearing the same dress as last night, because you knew he loved it. "did you and Nat had a good conversation, I didn't hear either of you yell" you ask him. he has you wrapped up in your arms, and you look up at him to see his face. "yeah it was a good talk" he says vaguely, before he places a soft kiss on your head. you don't know why but somewhere you feel a bit guilty being so close with Chris, while he's still married. and yes it's a fucking rocky marriage but it's still a marriage.

"what are you thinking about" Chris asks if you stay silent. "nothing" you say looking away from him. he grabs your chin and makes you look up at him, which always makes butterflies go fucking crazy in your stomach, you loved it when he takes control. "tell me" he orders, with a soft grin on his face. "it....it's nothing" you say trying to look away again but he holds your chin tightly, preventing you from looking away. "don't look away from me, you can tell me" he says now with a caring undertone, which made you realize he probably likes you as much as you like him.

"we......I mean we" you said, not being able to get it out. what if he agrees, you secretly hope he doesn't but it might be better for Lily's sake. "maybe we shouldn't do....this" you say vaguely. "why?" he asks surprised, and sounding a bit hurt. "because you're still married Chris" you tell him, creating a little more space between you 2. "so what" he says. "you're cheating on your wife" you say softly. "it's not cheating if both are doing it" he says, now sounding a bit angry almost. "you know what I mean Chris" you say in a serious tone now. you thought about telling him this for a long time now. since he first kissed you. but the sex was so good, and now since things are turning more serious. you just don't wanna get hurt and you want Chris to first figure things out with Natalie. not only for Lily's sake but also for your hearts sake. the conversation you had with Lily this afternoon really pushed you to finally talk with him about this.

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