31. Work calls

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the last weeks had been hard, especially the not having sex with Chris part. god sometimes you could fucking kick yourself for deciding that, but it's been good. you start to see the frustrated side of Chris when he didn't get what he wanted, and you were curious to see if he would act on it with someone else. you hoped to god he didn't but he at least you would have an answer. not the one you wanted, but the answer to your question if you were really more to him than just sex.

it's also been hard because he's been preparing to leave, while also being busy fixing everything for his official divorce. so he also wasn't his best self, he was stressed and anxious. "sit your ass down Chris" you told him on a Friday night, right after you brought Lily to bed. he had an hour before he needed to leave and was quite literally freaking out. he listen to you and sat down beside you on the couch. "listen you've checked everything twice, everything will be fine" you say holding his hand. "you sure you're gonna be fine by yourself?" he asked worry in his tone. "yes Chris me and Lily will be fine" you say smiling softly, finding it endearing he worried so much about you. "you sure?" he asked again. you grabbed both his hands "yes I'm sure Chris, stop worrying so much and just enjoy this new project" you say smiling to him. "god what would I be without you" he says smiling at you. "you would be having a fucking heart attack if I see how much you're stressing out" you say jokingly. "now that wouldn't be good" he says smiling at you.

you just cuddled up on the couch, just enjoying each other's company. until Chris asked "why don't you wanna sleep with me anymore?". "because I'm scared you'll find someone better" you say softly. "no one will be better than you y/n" he says, lifting your head up "I'll never cheat on you". "yeah you probably said the same to Nat and you still cheated on her with me. who says you won't find someone else to replace me" you tell him. "y/n i-" he says, realizing you were right. then his phone went off, signaling the taxi was here "I need to go" he says softly, looking like he wasn't ready to leave, at all. you walk with him to the taxi. he looks at you "stay safe" he says, trying his best not to sound too worried, in which he failed. "don't worry, have fun Chris" you say to him, placing a soft kiss on his lips. "I'll see you" he says before he gets in. "I'll call" you tell him, to try and make him worry less. "I'll keep you to that" he says smiling. "bye" you say to him. "bye y/n" he says before the car door closes and he drives away. suddenly you feel a little lonely, god you hadn't realized how shit that felt.

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the first few days were kinda hard, as you realized how it felt to not have him around you. god how you wished he would just hold you. he hadn't called yet, like he said he would. you tried to call him a few times but they went to voicemail. you couldn't help but get the sense he's either mad at you, for doubting he was not gonna fuck someone else. or that maybe he did find someone else. you were spiraling into those thoughts when Lily came up to you. "hey Lils" you say as she sits next to you on the couch. "I miss daddy" she says softly. you put her on your lap and hug her tightly "I miss him too Lils" you tell her. you just cuddle for a while before you bring her to bed. "there once was a princess and warrior named Lily" you began before you were interrupted by your phone.

you looked at it and saw it was Chris. "daddy!" Lily yelled grabbing the phone and accepting the facetime call. her face lit up when she saw her dad, making you realize how much she actually missed him. "daddy!" she says excitedly. "hey princess" he says smiling at her "where's y/n?". "I'm here" you say lying next to Lily in her bed. "how are you?" you asked. "good, busy and i miss my favorite girls of course" he says smiling. almost like he expected to see you having a breakdown of some sort. "we told you we'd be fine" you tell him jokingly. "yeah but we miss you " Lily says to him. "I miss you girls too, just a few more days Lils" he says. you smile, really realizing now that maybe you've missed him even more than you were willing to admit.

Chris talked to Lily for a while until he said to her "now it's probably time to go to sleep sweetheart". "I think it is too" you say smiling to Lily as she hands you your phone back. Chris says goodbye to her before you turn the lights off and tell her goodnight. you walk downstairs and sit on the couch when Chris' face turns more serious "how are you?" he asks a worried undertone. "I told you we're fine Chris" you say smiling softly at him. "I know, I know, just wanted to be sure" he says, sounding relieved. "how are you?" you ask him. "good...good, just miss you" he says, and you feel he means it. "I miss you too Chris" you tell him. "so do you have nice college's?" you ask him, trying to see if he might have someone there he has an eye on. "yeah they're really nice. but none compare to you" he says, like he knew why you asked. "good" you say staying silent for a while until you asked "are you mad at me?".

he looks at you a bit confused "why would I be mad at you?" he asked. "just....just of what I told you before you left" you say not looking at him. "no I'm not mad at you for that, why did you think that?" he asked sounding genuine. "because you weren't picking up your phone and-" you say getting a bit emotional now, thinking you might have fucked things up. "I was just busy y/n. I wasn't mad, if anything you fully had the right to say that. I get it, honestly. I gave you every reason to think that and I'm really sorry, for everything y/n" he says, the emotion in his voice telling you he's telling the truth. you sigh in relieve "okay". Chris smiles "I really miss you y/n" he says softly. "I miss you too" you tell him again. "when I'm home I'm gonna make up for it, for everything. I promise" he says. you nod "I'd like that". "I'll see you in a few days" he says smiling. "I'll see you" you say before you hang up the phone. man you'd wish he was here already.

a few days later

"come on Lils we're gonna be late" you tell her. she runs down the stairs "I'm here" she says before you get in the car and drive to the airport. you had to wait in the car, because Chris could not be seen with another woman, especially not with you...again. you waited a few minute before the car door quickly opens and Chris steps in, clearly in a hurry. "hey how was-" you want to ask but he cuts you off "drive!" he says, clearly stressed. "what?" you asked confused. "drive now, they're close behind, they can't see you" he says. you do as he says and drive away, seeing probably like 15 photographers running behind the car. when you drive away from the airport Chris sighs, before he turns to you "hey" he says smiling. "hey" you say smiling back, wishing Lily wasn't here right now so you could give him a proper welcome home, I missed you present.....

Chris gives you a quick kiss, since you were driving. "sorry about all that" he says. "it's okay, I understand" you tell him. "how was it daddy!" Lily asked him, clearly happy to have him back. god if she's already sad that he was away for a week or 2, how was she when he was gone for weeks, even months with big projects. you now understand why she would have tantrums.

when you're home Chris puts Lily in bed before he comes downstairs and just grabs you by your hips, pulling you close. kissing you like he's clearly missed you. 

"welcome home" you say against his lips before he kisses you again

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"welcome home" you say against his lips before he kisses you again. he then lifts you up and puts you on the kitchen counter "fuck I missed you" he says "missed your kisses, I fucking missed your body" he says sounding hungry. "hmmm I missed you too" you say putting your legs around him, kissing him deeply. "wanna fuck you so bad" he whispers in your ear. you already feel he's hard and you have to try your hardest not to give in. and fuck was it hard, because you wanted it so bad. but somewhere your mind toldy ou no. "I can't chris" you tell him softly, scared to say it. scared it will make him mad or sad, or maybe he will leave you because of it. "y/n?" he asked surprised "I thought I....we-". "I can't Chris" you tell him again, but more sure of yourself this time. "why?"

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