37. Love

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you stand Infront of your closet. what where you gonna wear. it was just a friendly diner right? or did he expect more. god this was all way to confusing, maybe you should just call in sick. no shit you couldn't he would definitely know you were lying. you sigh falling down into the bed. what to do..... you eventually opted for a nice top with some jeans, so you wouldn't look too casual but also not like you'd expected it to be a date.

you calm your nerves before you press the doorbell. "hello miss y/l/n" you hear Rosa say. "hey Rosa, nice to hear you again" you say smiling. "come in, mister Evans is waiting for you" she says, opening the gates for you. you slowly walk up to the door, pushing the feelings you thought were gone, far away. this was just a friendly diner y/n, you reminded yourself. you stand for the door taking 3 deep breaths before you raise your hand to knock on the door, but it already opens. Chris opens the door for you "I began to think you got lost" he says jokingly. "I was just enjoying the evening air" you say smiling softly to him. shit why did he have to be so handsome.

you walk in and look around the room, it felt like coming home. "where's Lils?" you asked him. "oh she's with Natalie" he says. "how are you and Natalie?" you ask him. "I don't really talk to her, only when I bring Lily" he says, clearly being done with her. "come sit" he says leading you to a nicely made table. the smell of homemade pizza fills your nose and you immediately think back to that day, which felt like years ago. he fills your glass with wine, of course he still remembered what your favorite was. the room fills with an awkward silence as you start eating. "so how's life?" he asks you, clearly trying to get rid of the awkwardness. "it's okay" you tell him. "I still can't believe you are the boss of that daycare, it looked amazing" he says, making you blush a little. "thanks" you say softly. he smiles "sorry, forgot you weren't good with compliments". you softly smile back, shit this was more awkward then you thought. you finished your food, mainly in silence. every now and then you would talk about things you've done in the 2 months you haven't seen each other.

when you were done eating he asked "why didn't you call?" he seemed a little hurt by it. you look at him "because it still hurt too much" you say almost in a whisper looking to the ground. shit you couldn't do this you needed to leave. "i- uhm, maybe I should go" you said standing up, ready to leave. Chris stops you "I'm sorry" he says looking at you with a sad look in his eyes. "I'm sorry for everything y/n. I never meant to hurt you" he says. sadness and anger rise up in you. "what are you sorry for exactly, for giving me hope that something serious would happen between us or for hurting me by not doing exactly that. over and over again" you said now almost shouting. what the fuck did he want. "I'm sorry I didn't want-" he says but you don't let him finish as all the feelings you hid away for 2 months now rise to the surface.

"I fucking wanted you, I loved you and I would have done anything for you. and I was so fucking angry at you because that still wasn't enough" you yell while tear stream down your face. "I made a mistake" he says his eyes watery. "yes you fucking did" you say your voice full of hurt. "I did" he says silently tears now streaming down his face. "I fucking hurt you multiple times, i, i. I don't deserve you" he says tears staining his face. "you want to know what the fucked up thing is Chris. I still fucking love you. all you ever needed to do was to tell me to stay" you say looking into his sad eyes. "please stay y/n" he says.

the next moment your lips are on his in a deep, hungry an passionate kiss. 

 

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