Celebrity nanny {Chris Evans x reader }

28. don't need to do it alone

every night for the whole week Chris and you fucked. and man was it good. if this didn't worked out you wondered if you could ever find someone who could make you feel like he did.

but this morning you woke up with your phone full of messages from people you didn't know telling you all sorts of things that weren't nice. they went from 'you don't deserve Chris' to 'you should kill yourself'. you ignored them for days now, not telling Chris anything about it because you know how he would react. but every day it would get harder to ignore it, because the more messages you've read, the more you felt like they were true.

"can you get Lily from school?" Chris asked you. "yeah sure, are you busy?" you asked him. "yeah I have this meeting for a potential new movie" he says. "well good luck then" you say standing on your tippy toes to kiss him. he grabs your hips and pulls you closer to deepen the kiss. "I need to go" you say after you softly pushed him away "good luck with your meeting" you say before you walk out to get Lily.

Chris' pov

after you're done with the meeting you walk into the kitchen. you'd expected y/n and Lily to be back, but knowing them they probably went for ice creams. you go to make coffee when you see y/n's phone on the kitchen island. huh that was weird, normally she took it everywhere with her, she probably just forgot it today. when you waited for the coffee to be done, you see she's getting multiple messages and you can't help but get a little curious. who was texting her, and why where there so much. what if she was texting someone else, did she had another man she was seeing? all of a sudden you get jealous and decide to just watch, just looking at it wouldn't hurt right. your immediately hit with sadness as you see the messages....what the fuck was this...

y/n's pov

you get home after you went for an ice cream with Lily. you hoped Chris was still in his meeting and wouldn't worry where you are, because you forgot your phone. well you kinda left it on purpose. you just couldn't handle the messages anymore. "can we play with the dolls when we're home?" Lily asks you. "yeah of course we can Lils" you tell her before you open the door. but when you walk in you see Chris' worried face. he quickly greets Lily before his worried face turns back to you. shit what happened. "go get the dolls ready Lils, I'll be there in a sec." you tell her. and she does as she says.

then you turn to Chris "are you o-" before you get the words out he holds your phone up to your face "what is this" he asks. you see a thousand messages that 'you're a bitch', that 'you're ruining Chris' life'. that 'you're fat', that 'you don't deserve him'. that 'you should have killed yourself that night'. "why didn't you tell me" he says sounding guilty and sad at the same time. "because of this, because of the way you're looking right now. it's not your fucking fault Chris" you almost yell at him, mainly to mark the sadness you feel deep inside. "I should have never-" he begins but you interrupt him. "it's not your fucking fault!" you now yell as tears well up in your eyes. "stop blaming yourself for this, this is the fault of all those people who don't fucking care how other people feel" you say while tears roll down your cheeks. "it's not your fault Chris, please....please don't do this to yourself" you say looking him right in the eyes. he has laid the phone down and his eyes are full of tears.

"why haven't you told me, you shouldn't had to do this alone, you shouldn't have to deal with this all alone" he says, his voice on the edge of breaking. "because I knew you would just blame yourself, and I rather feel shit alone than that you do too" you tell him honestly. he pulls you into his arms hugging you tightly. 

"don't ever think you need to do this alone" he says softly placing a soft kiss on your head. "I'm sorry" you say, breaking down crying now. which causes Chris to hug you even tighter "you know they're just jealous right. noting of what they're saying is true. you are the most amazing person I know y/n" he says just holding you.

you can't help but feel he's lying and that those messages are right. you don't deserve this, you're a nobody. you are years younger than him and you are definitely not his type, at least not the type he should settle for. he could get anyone, models, actresses, singers. why the fuck did he chose you.....did he even chose you. "get out of your head y/n" he says strictly, looking at you while he wipes away your tears. "you are beautiful, kind, and amazing. you are my best friend and you deserve to be here, to be alive" he says it with so much love and care in his voice you break down again. "you could have someone so much better than me, older, more experienced, prettier" you say between sobs. "I want you" he says softly. you're a little shocked at what he's saying, did he really mean that. you look up at him and before you know it Chris kisses you, softly, slowly and lovingly. "we are gonna get you a new phone number, and you need to promise me you stay off of social media until this flies over, okay" he says. you nod your head and he kisses you again. "you are amazing y/n" he says again, before he hugs you tightly.

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"how did your meeting go?" you ask him when you're sitting on the couch together later on in the evening. Lily had joined you after you forgot to go to her."good, I got the job" he says, but he doesn't seem to excited about that. "what's wrong then?" you asked him "isn't it the role you wanted?". "no I really like the role, but filming starts in a month" he says. "so?" you asked confused. "so we start filming in under a month, and I still need to figure shit out, and..." he says being silent for a few second "and.....and I don't wanna leave you here alone, not after....everything" he says softly. "I'll be fine Chris" you tell him honestly "I've been through worse". "I just.......I don't want....I" he says not knowing how to say it, but you know what he wants to say, he's just too scared to say it out loud. "you know things like that won't happen again right?" you say grabbing his hands "I'm okay now. I'm in a good headspace now.....don't worry about me" you tell him. "you're such a strong woman" Chris says smiling. "you only now figured that out" Lily says looking up to you 2, looking away from the tv show she was watching. "I've known it for a while now" Chris says now fully smiling. "we'll be fine without you dad" Lily says."well good to know you don't need me" Chris says jokingly. "that we don't need you doesn't mean we won't miss you" Lily says, looking from her dad to you. "she's absolutely right" you say smiling at Chris. "I'm gonna miss you girls too" Chris say, before Lily walks up to you 2 and wraps you up in a group hug.